Just Laugh
by Walrus Gumboot
Summary: A reinterpreted origin story of Harley Quinn by none other than the Clown Prince of Crime's gal. Set in the Chris Nolan Batman Universe. The final chapter uploaded. In this chapter Harley and her new friend discuss their relationship and the future of it.
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Warner Bros or DC Comics characters.

_A/N: Ever since I was a kid, Harley Quinn has been one of my favorite cartoon characters. And after seeing "Batman Begins" for the first time, I started to wonder how she could fit into the universe it was set in, especially since The Joker is appearing in "The Dark Knight". This fanfic is a completely redone back-story of Harley Quinn's origin._

**Just Laugh**

So, you want to know about me, huh? You want to know how I came to be who I am today? You want to hear the story of how a timid geek gets screwed over by life so many times she finally snaps and seeks the comfort of a criminally insane, psychopathic murdering clown, only to become one herself?

Well you're in luck, 'cause I'm feeling chatty today! Mister J, or as I affectionately call him: Puddin', is locked up in the bedroom scribbling down his latest plan to get rid of our little "bat" problem. He never lets me help him come up with a plan. He always says my ideas aren't "funny" or he doesn't "get the joke". So he stays up in the bedroom for hours on end, coming up with a morbidly humorous way of getting rid of his enemy. If it were me, I would just shoot him. Right between the eyes, like Ol' Yeller.

Anyway, whenever he plots his latest scheme, he always leaves me alone, with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me. Which reminds me, I should talk to Mr. J about us getting cable. But I'm getting sidetracked. Now that I have someone to talk to, I can finally tell somebody the best love story in the world. The tale of how my Puddin' and I met! It's a tale of intrigue and whimsy. It's a tale of how Mr. J saved me from a life of mediocrity and depression. It's the tale of how boring old dull-as-dishwater Harleen Quinzel became the adorable, loved-by-all, one and only, Harley Quinn!

Now, if you have to go to the bathroom, I'd say go now. 'Cause this is going to be a _loooong_ story. Filled with cameos by other archfiends of the Dark Knight, and other residents of the fair city of Gotham. Now hush up! I don't like being interrupted. Oh, and save all questions till the end of the story. Questions are only going to slow me down. Now, get comfy, because here it goes!

* * *

I don't really know where to start. If you're curious about my childhood, don't be. I grew up in a small town just outside of Gotham with an alcoholic father who ran out on my mom and I when I was just five years old. I don't remember much of him, except that he constantly degraded my mom by insulting her and pushing her around. After he split, I got attached to my mom like a parasite. Not in a bad kind of way, but in the way that I needed her for everything. Things like food, a home, and emotional support. She wanted to be there for me, but in a home with one source of income, she couldn't. She had to pay for my food, my clothes, and my schooling. So she spent a lot of time at work, and I spent a lot of time at home, alone.

It wasn't till I got into my teenage years that my mom began to change. And it wasn't for the better either. Being a woman, she obviously had needs, not just physical, but emotional, too. But when you work over 60 hours a week as a secretary, and you've got a child at home who depends on you for everything, it's pretty hard to attract a guy. Whatever hours she could scrape together to go out, she would hit the few bars we had in our one-horse town. But unfortunately for her, no suitors ever came her way. So, she turned to the one man she knew she could find solace in. A man named Al. Al Cohol.

After Mom became a regular drinker, things changed for the worse. My mom started blaming me for everything. Whenever she was inebriated, I was the cause of my father's departure. When she was tipsy, I was the reason she couldn't find a man to date. Every time she got flat-out drunk, it was my fault for everything wrong in her life. She had gone from this source of love and attention I needed, to being this hateful thing that blamed me for events I had no control over. Eventually she wound up going to work drunk. Can you guess what happened next? If you guessed lost her job, then congratulations! And for bonus points, who's fault did she think it was? Harleen? Is that your final answer? Ding-ding-ding! You absolutely right! It was home sweet home all right.

Getting out of this small town became my prime objective. After the whole "Mom lost her job, so we have no money to pay rent for our apartment" event, we moved in with my mom's sister. My aunt had a two-story house in the center of the town, not far from where we lived previously, so at least I didn't have to change schools. As soon as I moved in, I devoted any time I could to my studies. If I got my GPA high enough, I could go to a good college, and maybe even get a scholarship. My grades were fine, but I wanted to be sure I wouldn't end up like my mother or father. Whenever my friends were out partying, I was at home locked in my room, with my face in a book.

High school was somewhat of a sanctuary for me. It was a place where I could get away from my mom and her problems, and be with the few good friends I had. I wasn't unpopular or anything, I just preferred being in a smaller group. I had a really close kinship with my gang. They had aspirations of going to better places, too.

Before I knew it, it was my senior year, and I realized I needed to pick what I wanted to major in when I was in college. The answer came to me when I signed up for the new "Introduction to Psychology" class the school had just gotten. This class was amazing. I was literally glued to my seat in class as I listened to everything my teacher had to say. It was like this class came to my school specifically for me. It's no surprise that I aced it and was the teacher's star pupil. The class was a godsend, and I finally knew what I wanted to be. A Psychologist.

My psych class made the time pass by incredibly fast. It amazes me how one minute I'm wondering what to do with my life, the next I'm sending in an application for Gotham University. I decided on going to GU because Gotham is a huge city, I'd rarely see my mom, and it had a prestigious psychology department, which I think is because of Arkham Asylum. And my constant studying had paid off, because I got the Wayne Enterprises Scholarship for Academics. It didn't cover the entirety of all my college expenses, but it was damn sure better than having no money and trying to work my way through college.

You can imagine my excitement when I found out I got into Gotham University. To me, my letter of acceptance wasn't just a piece of paper saying I could go to this school; it was a symbol. A symbol that I had the ability to make something of myself. It reassured me that I was going to make it in this world, despite coming from a broken home in a podunk town. The minute I found out I was accepted into Gotham, I was so happy I cried for the first time since my dad left.

I spent the whole summer preparing to leave for the city of Gotham. As a graduation/getting into college present, my aunt got me an apartment not to far from the University's campus. She told me she paid the apartment's landlord 3 month's worth of rent, but that after that I was on my own. I assured her that 3 month's would be fine, because I would have a job to pay for it on my own by then.

Like time always does in my life, it went by fast. Summer was almost up, which meant college was starting soon. I'll always remember the last day I lived with my aunt and mother. Not because it was a milestone occasion, but because of the conversation I had with my mom.

I had just put the last box of my personal items into my car, and I went up to my mother to exchange goodbyes. But this was no 'goodbye', it was the complete opposite. I'll let you in on our last exchange. I seem to recall it going like this.

"So mom," I started to say with a small smile. "Your little girl is about to go off into the big city. Anything you want to say to me?" I really wanted her to say something to me. Throughout the entire summer, I felt she was ignoring me. As it turns out, I was right.

"Yes, Harleen, I actually do have something to say" My mom said with her arms crossed. Her words came out with a strong scent of cheap beer. I bit my lip as soon as my nostrils detected the pungent aroma. Whatever she was about to say, she meant it. She was always honest whenever she had been drinking. Brutally honest.

"W-what is it?" I began to say with a slight stutter. I always stutter whenever I'm scared. And I always get scared around my drunken mom.

"I think it's pathetic what you are doing with your life." She said giving me a cold glare. I was shocked. Pathetic? What in the hell is pathetic about going to a good school and making something of myself? And that wasn't even the worst part of her little rant. "You're just running away to Gotham because you can't confront your problems here." Problems? Was she even aware she _was_ my biggest problem?

"Mom," I said defensively "I'm not running away, I want to go to Gotham U., so I can become a psychologist." My mom snorted at the retort I made.

"A psychologist?" she said sarcastically. "Harleen, if you wanted to study psychiatry, why don't you just go to the community college, instead of some prissy city school you can barely afford?" First of all, _psychiatry_? I know she was drunk, but come on! Those are two totally different fields. And second of all, at this point she started to raise her voice. It was like she was chastising me for wanting to better myself.

"Mom, p-pl-please" I stutteringly pleaded. "G-gotham is a great school, and it has great opportunities. And I want to go there because..." I wanted to tell her the true reason, but I just couldn't.

"Why Harleen?" Mom belligerently questioned. "Why do you want to leave all your friends, and travel to a place where you know no one?!" My mother's questions pounded into me like hammers. It was like she wanted me to feel bad for doing something good. "Why do you want to abandon the family that loved and supported you, and sacrificed everything for you?! Why Harleen, why?!". I finally couldn't take it anymore. She wanted an answer, by God she got her answer.

"You want to know why, Mom?!" I shouted at her for the first time. "I'm leaving because I want to actually _be_ something! I want to have a _good_ life. I don't want to end up like _you_. I don't want to have my husband run out on me! I don't want to turn to alcohol to solve all my problems!" It felt good getting all of this off of my chest, but this next sentence is what probably clenched our relationship off for good. "I don't want to end up a bitter old shrew who blames her daughter for everything and uses her for nothing more than an emotional punching bag!"

My mother stood there in silence. After years of talking down to her daughter, you'd think having the roles reversed would be a humbling experience. It wasn't. My mother just shot me that cold glare, and headed toward the door. I tried apologizing, but there was no point. The bridge had been burnt.

"Mom, wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" I tried pleading as I ran after her. She reached the doorway and turned around.

"But the sentiment is still the same, isn't it Harleen?" She said coldly. "You want to go to Gotham? Fine, go. But know this. I'm not going to be waiting for you." The way she was talking to me now hurt worse than whenever she yelled at me. "You want to make something of yourself, and not end up like me? Then you're on you own. Forever." And with that the door slammed in my face. She did not just close the door to the house. She closed the door of our relationship.

I walked to my car with a sunken heart. My mother had just disowned me. I sat in my car for at least seven minutes before actually starting it. All I wanted was a little space, I didn't want her out of my life. My eyes welled up with tears and they fell like rain down onto my shirt. With watery eyes I looked down on at the shirt. It was one of my favorites. It was red and black with a large checkered pattern. On top of the pattern was the image of a jester's face saying, "Just laugh". A friend had gotten it for me for my 17th birthday, because she said and I quote "You need to laugh more, Harl. It makes you feel better"

"Just laugh". Meh. At that point in my life I thought there were just some times were you _couldn't_ laugh.

I wiped my eyes and started my car. I choked back all the heartache I was feeling and focused on driving. Driving past all the stores and restaurants I had been to all my life was weird. It was like I was driving to a new point in my life. The town was my childhood, Gotham was my adulthood, and my car was some other symbol I'm too tired to analyze now.

I drove for what seemed like an eternity down a long stretch of empty highway towards Gotham. Now that I was on my own, I knew I needed to get a job. I couldn't just wait around for money to fall in my lap so I could pay the rent. I needed to devote myself to my scholastics and to a job to pay for it. I decided to check the want ads when I got to my apartment.

When my eyes reached a sign that said "Welcome to Gotham City", I took a big inhale. I was finally an independent woman living in a prosperous city. Dreams of hope filled my head, as I thought about becoming the great psychologist I longed to be.

But those dreams were about to come crashing down. This wide-eyed hopeful innocent was about to get a good dose of reality and injustice. Two things that didn't even come into mind as I drove into the great city of Gotham.

* * *

Whew! I told ya it was going to be long, didn't I? And we aren't even past the tip of the iceberg yet. But the story's gonna get far more interesting, I promise! But right now I'm tired. Gimme a break and come back later, and I'll give ya more of the story, ok? Sayonara!

* * *

_A/N: So what do you think? This is the first major fan-fiction I'm writing so, can I get a little feedback? Much appreciated. Oh, and forgive any spelling or grammatical errors, please._


	2. Home Is Where Your Stuff Is

Disclaimer: I still don't own any Warner Bros or DC Comics characters.

_A/N: I want to thank all of you who read the first chapter and are still reading for more. And I really want send a special thanks for those of you who reviewed and favorited this._

_One more thing, I didn't know there were already 2 other Harley Quinn origin stories on FF, but you know what they say, the more the merrier. Now, enough rambling and on with the story._

* * *

**Chapter 2:**

Oh, you're back! After last time, I didn't think you'd want to hear more. I mean you were fading in and out. You just couldn't miss the next part, huh? Well goody! Now where did we leave off? Hmm…Oh yeah! I had just been disowned by my own mother and was on my way to the big city. This is part here is kinda boring. Trust me, the real good stuff is gonna come later, but for now you'll have to settle for this part.

* * *

I still remember my first day in Gotham. Before going to my new apartment complex, I drove around the city checking out everything I could. The first place I went to see was the school I would be attending in a week, Gotham University. It was exactly like I imagined it would be. A huge, manor looking institution that would give me the education I needed. I sighed contently as I drove away, thinking that this school will help me become the psychologist I longed to be.

Speaking of, the next place I went to go see was Arkham Asylum. Even as I drove by I could feel this sort of aura around the place. I stopped my car right before the entrance and just looked at it. It was sort of decrepit looking, and I felt this gloomy feeling seeping out of the huge asylum. It was like the suffering of those inside was creating a tangible force of some kind. I made an oath to myself that once I became a doctor, I would do my best to help those inside.

After my little trip around town, I went to my new home. It was in the Wayne Housing Complex.

'_Wayne'_ I thought to myself as I parked my car. '_That's the same guy who sponsored my scholarship. Is there anything the guy doesn't do?'._ I grabbed my black and red bookbag that contained my essentials and got out of my car. I looked at the environment my new home was in. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly the type of place you'd want to be without protection. Lucky for me, I always had mace.

I met with my landlord, Sally, and we talked for a little bit. She mostly just told me about the rules of the apartment. Stuff like no animals, no loud music, don't toy with the fire alarms. Like I really needed to know any of this; it was all common sense. Anyway after the rules were finished being recited we talked about my payment plan.

"All right now, your aunt paid for the first three months, right?" Sally asked me. I heard the question, but I waited on answering her. I was too busy studying her. Sally was a middle-aged woman, with faded brown hair with streaks of grey running through it. She seemed really tall, but that might of been because I was shorter than her. You know, when you're 5'3", nearly everyone's taller than you. Sally's deep green eyes noticed I wasn't paying attention, and quickly tried getting it.

"Harleen? Did you hear what I said?" She asked waving a hand in front of my face. I shook my head, slightly embarrassed that she caught me just looking at her.

"Oh yeah, sorry" I said with an embarrassed laugh. "The drive here just took a lot out of me, you know?" She chuckled and gave me a small grin. Sally was really nice. She was kind of like the mother I never had, or the mother I wish I had. "Anyway..." I resumed. "After the three months, what's my rent going to be?"

"Well..." She started to say. "You're a college student, and I do like you. So I think I'll let you have the room for 150 a month. Can you handle that?"

I thought about it. I'd obviously need a job, which I planned to get within the next week. If I started saving now, I wouldn't have to worry about rent as long as I had money in a bank.

"Yeah" I responded to her question. "I'll be fine. Don't worry" Sally smiled and handed me the key to my new apartment.

"Then the place is yours." She said grinning. "Welcome to Casa de Wayne!"

Sally helped me get all of my things into my apartment. It didn't take long since I didn't have much. Just some clothes, my laptop, my books, my uh..teddy bear. Yeah I got a teddy bear, you got a problem with that? I didn't need to bring any furniture or a bed. My aunt took care of that when she paid Sally. There was already a small couch and a bed. The apartment wasn't that bad. It had one bedroom, a small living room/kitchen, a bathroom, and an exposed brick interior. Before I knew it, my new home was finally complete.

"Well, you seem to be all set up" Sally said. "If you need me, I'm two floors down, okay?" Wow. Sally was really motherly, too. If it had been my mom she would've just thrown keys at me and said "Pay me when rent's due" and left.

"Okay" I said with a small smile to the older woman. "Thanks for all your help, Sally." She gave me a smile in return.

"No problem, kid" She said starting to close the front door behind her. "Be good!" She yelled as she closed the door. I looked around at my new place. I sighed and lied down on my couch.

"I'm finally here" I said to myself as I closed my eyes. I went to sleep thinking about all of the things I was going to do in Gotham. In this apartment, I could go to sleep smiling, not frowning from sadness.

At this point I had one week until college started. I wanted to get a job now so I could start saving money for my rent when it would be due. When I woke up from my nap, I pulled out the latest issue of the Gotham Times from my backpack. There were a whole bunch of weird articles in the paper. Things like '_District Attorney Dent Missing; Presumed Dead' _and '_Psycho Clown Sentenced to Arkham for Life'._ Man. The biggest piece of news from my town was when some high-school punk stole 30 from a convenience store.

Anyway after reading some of these interesting articles, I scoured the want ads. Unfortunately for me, there was nothing for me. And when I say that I mean it. There was absolutely _nothing _I could do for money. I couldn't believe that not one place needed a waitress or a cashier or something.

'_Oh well' _I thought._ 'At least I've still got a couple of months before I'll really need rent money.'_

I went over to my window and looked out. The sun started to set, and as I saw it close on my first day in Gotham, I realized that I was alone. No mother, no aunt, no friends. I was truly all by myself. I was able to see Gotham University from my window. It was pretty small since it was far away, but I could still see it.

"That place is gonna change all that" I told myself. "I'm gonna get everything there I couldn't get from home." At least, that's what I told myself. Cuz, if I had known what was gonna happen to me there, I would of just stayed home.

* * *

All right. That wasn't so bad was it? Sure nothing exciting happened, but if I tell you all the exciting parts now, you wouldn't want to stick around would ya? Believe me when I say that next time, there'll be good things. I get a job, I meet a guy, and you get to see me interact with a familiar face. See ya next time!


	3. Ch ch ch ch Changes

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Warner Bros or DC Comics characters.

_A/N: This is probably my longest chapter so far. If that's a bad thing, don't hesitate to tell me in a comment or something. Oh, and first person to correctly mention all of the minor "Batman" characters in here gets a prize. Or a mention for correctly identifying the characters._

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Hello again! Glad to see you've returned to hear more of my exciting story. If you remember from the last bit of my little tale, you'll know that I was looking for a job and was about to attend Gotham University. In this little section of my saga, my job woes are put to rest. But a whole new set of problems emerge. How you ask? Well, you'll find out soon enough.

* * *

It was the night before my first day of college. And as I tried to get some sleep in my bed, thoughts kept running through my mind, bugging the hell out of me.

_'I'm so nervous about tomorrow' _I thought as I rolled around in my black bedspread. I tried pushing them away, but thoughts of everything that could go wrong at school kept resurfacing. _'What if nobody likes me? What if all my teachers hate me? What if I turn out to be even more unpopular than I was in high school?' _My inner voice kept going on with questions like these for what seemed like forever. If I had a caring mother, she would of assured me that everything was going to be fine, and that I was over-reacting. But in reality, my mother would've told me that the little voice in my head was right, and that this college experience was going to be the worst thing ever. I reassured myself that everything would be fine, and as soon as I did my mind focused on other things.

_'What about money?'_ The voice inquired. _'I still haven't found a job. I've only got three months to start making money or else I'm gonna have to live on the street!'_ I sighed and sat up on my bed. I ran my hands through my blonde hair and told myself that I'll find something and that everything would be all right. My little inner monologue seemed to stop and I laid my head back on my cool pillow. I closed my eyes and thought of good things that could come from my college experience, instead of horrible things. I drifted off to sleep with a smile, highly anticipating my scholastic adventure.

I woke up the next day excited as a kid on Christmas Day. My first day of college was finally here. I was so happy for the day, I actually sang while I was taking a shower! And trust me, I've never been so excited for something I've sung for it. I got out of the shower and put on my "First Day" outfit. Blue jeans, with a red T-shirt and a black jacket, and of course, my favorite pair of sneakers. I grabbed my back pack off of my couch and pulled out my car keys. Soon, I was out the door and off for GU.

I'll always remember my first day at Gotham. I parked in the student parking lot, where a bunch of students were already convening with each other. I got out with my book bag and began walking toward the campus. It was absolutely beautiful. The architecture was incredibly designed. I mean it had to be at least 80 years old, cuz I know that they don't make schools like this one anymore. Looking at my watch, I decided it was best for me to get to my first class, Calculus. I wasn't looking forward to the class, but the sooner it was over, the sooner I could get to my Psychology class at 2:00 PM.

The day went by wonderfully. I know that may make me sound nerdy, but when I was in class at Gotham, I felt...complete. It was just wonderful that I was in a place with people I could consider intellectual equals. In every class, I listened to everything my professors had to say with great enthusiasm. In no time at all, 2:00 began to creep up upon the clock and I was walking into my Psychology classroom.

I sat down at the front row of the room and looked around for my professor. He wasn't there, but I was five minutes early. I stretched and let out a huge yawn. It had been a long day, and I was getting kind of tired. I crossed my arms on the desk in front of me and put my head down to rest my eyes.

"First day getting to you, huh?" said a voice to my left. I lifted my head and looked over to find the voice belonged to a tall red-headed girl. She had a small smirk on her face from her little joke. She had on glasses with black frames that seemed to accentuate her emerald-colored eyes. She wore a really tight yellow shirt and had a purple messenger bag on her side. I snapped out of studying her and responded to her intro.

"Yeah" I said sheepishly. "Part of me really wants to go to sleep, but the other wants to see how this class is gonna go."

The red-head giggled. "I know what you mean. The psychology courses are usually the best, considering we have a world-known institution on the other side of town." She sat down in the chair next to me and put her bag on the ground. She turned to me and offered her hand.

"Barbara Gordon" the red-head said. I took her hand and shook it with a smile.

"Harleen Quinzel" I said releasing her hand. We chatted for a little bit while we waited for the rest of our class and professor to show up. Barbara was a really interesting person. She told me her father was the commissioner for the Gotham Police Department, and had a lot of stories that involved him and the local legend Batman. I told her I didn't know that much about Batman since I wasn't raised in Gotham. She was about to tell me about him until we noticed a man walking to the front of the room.

The man was tall and thin with long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. He had small brown eyes and a crooked nose. It kind of looked like someone broke his nose and he never had it fixed. The man's face was really narrow, too. From a distance, the man sort of looked like a rat.

"I am Professor Guy Kopski." The man said as he wrote his name onto the white board in the front of the room. "But you can call me Professor, or Professor K if you prefer" He had a smile on his face as he scanned his students faces. His eyes eventually locked with mine. I gave him a small smile and in return his smile seemed to get bigger.

I pulled out my notebook as Professor Kopski told us about what we would be learning in our course. He spent about 25 minutes on his plans for the class, then spent the remainder of class getting to know us. He went around asking us our names and what we liked to do. He pointed to me and I got up from my seat.

"My name is Harleen, and...uh" I started to say. I couldn't think of anything to say that I liked to do. I scratched the back of my head and looked at Barbara. She did a motion with her hand to get me to hurry up with a response. "And...I like to study psychology." I said embarrassed. I gulped as I looked at Kopski.

"Well..." Kopski said with smirk. "Looks like I'm not the only one." He shot me a warm smile as I sat down. His expression made me smile, too. I felt really embarrassed up there, but he made me feel like it was all right. I propped my head up with my arm and listened to him talk to the other students.

Barbara leaned over to me and whispered, "I think Professor K wants you to be his teacher's pet. And by the look on your face I think you _want _to be his pet." She snickered as I looked over at her blushingly. "Just kidding, love" she said playfully.

Eventually class was over, and so was my first day of college. Barbara and I walked over to my car, discussing the days events.

"I'm just saying, Harleen" Barbara said while picking on me. "You were looking at him with big doe eyes and you were sighing deeply for nearly all of class." I gritted my teeth. If there was one thing this girl was good at, it was getting under people's skin.

"I was not!" I shot back in my defense. Barb had her arms crossed and gave me a look that said '_You totally were_'. "I'm serious! I wasn't!" I slightly yelled as I put my bag in my back seat.

"Ok, you weren't." She said lifting her arms up to get me to control my voice. She pulled out her cell phone to check the time. "I got to go catch my ride, you remember my phone number right?" she asked. At the beginning of class, we discovered we had similar class schedules, so we decided it'd be best to have the other's number just in case. Also, we were becoming really good friends.

"Yeah, I got it." I replied as I got into the driver's seat of my car. "I'll see you tomorrow, Barb." I pulled out of the student's parking lot and drove off to my apartment. I sighed contentedly as I drove through Gotham. Today had been pretty good. I made a new friend, and my psychology class promised great things to come.

I snapped back into reality, and began driving towards the "grimier" part of town. I looked at the outside of restaurants, mini-marts, and other small shops to see if anyplace was hiring. Unfortunately I did not see any "Help Wanted" signs. That is until I drove past a beat-up looking, brick structure. I stopped and read an unlit neon sign on the front that said "Maroni's Girls", and the window was filled with signs like "No Minors Allowed" and "No Experience Needed". It was obvious the place was a strip joint.

I was slightly shocked by the building. I had scoured the want ads, and nothing was available. Yet, here, was a job presenting itself to me? I shook my head and put my car into drive. I still had three months to get a job. And there was no way I was going to work in a skin bar. I had way too much respect for myself. At least, I did at that point in my life.

* * *

What do I mean by that? Well in order to understand, I'm going to have to skip forward three months. Don't worry, you don't miss anything. Just more of me worrying about a job, me at school, and me talking to Barb. Seriously, nothing.

* * *

Anyway, it was the beginning of November, and I was worried sick. My rent would be due in one week. I was sitting at my desk with thousands of Gotham Times want ads all around me.

_'I'm screwed'_ I thought as I rubbed my temples. _'There's no way in hell I'm going to get 175 in a week.'_ I got up and walked around my apartment, thinking of ways to get money. For awhile I considered asking Barb for a loan. _'But what about next month? When you need another nearly 200 dollar loan?'_ I sat down on my couch with a flop.

I grabbed the latest issue of the Gotham Times and looked at the headline. _'Mobster Sal Maroni Walks from Murder Trial'._

"Maroni" I said to myself. "That's the name that was on that strip club.". By this time, I had forgotten all about it. The next thing I remembered about the bar was that it was looking for work. "No!" I said to myself. "I'm not going to become a stripper just so I can stay here."

_'But I don't have any other choice'_ My inner voice solemnly said. I sighed defeatedly and grabbed my car keys. _'Maybe I won't have to dance.' _I said to myself as I got in my car._ 'Maybe I could be a waitress. Or a dishwasher.' _ I drove around town until I found the bar.

"I can't believe I'm doing this" I said, biting my lip nervously. I had a huge knot in my stomach as I parked the car in the small lot next to the bar. It wasn't crowded, as it was only 7:00 p.m. I assumed the bar's clientele would show up later. I was slightly relieved to see the "Dancer's Needed" sign in the window, but that feeling of content was pushed away as I walked into the bar.

The inside of the bar was exactly what you'd expect a strip club to be like. Tons of neon lights blaring, old, rock music playing, and a strong reek of stale beer. And in the center of the room were about 3 platforms with poles. I couldn't believe this was the only place that needed help.

The only people in the main room were a couple of girls talking to each other in the corner. One was a tall brunette with a black corset, matching underwear and stockings, and black stilettoes. The other was an average sized woman with dyed purple hair, and a similar outfit to the brunette's, only her's was in a dark blue. They stopped talking when they noticed me wandering around.

"Hey blondie!" The brunette said a grin. "We don't open till 2 hours from now! Course, if you want a private show that's a completely different matter" She said with a flirtatious smile. The purple haired girl wrapped her arms around the brunette and put on a similar smile.

"And for double the price" purple hair said. "You can include me. And I guarantee, you'll have no buyers remorse" The two women started giggling. I swallowed nervously and walked up to the two girls.

"M-my name i-is Harleen" I said running a hand through my hair. "A-and I was wondering, if this place was hiring?" I hated that I was stuttering again. I thought that I was over that.

The two women's eyes lit up. They each walked over to a different side of me and grabbed an arm.

"We got a new recruit Nina!" The purple haired girl said to the brunette. They started directing me towards the back of the bar.

"I know, Diedre, I'm excited too" Nina said in response. We stopped in front of a door that said "Management".

"Sal's gonna love you, Harleen." Diedre said to me. "Just don't give him any sass, and he'll hire you." I looked at the two girls. They seemed really nice, if not really goofy. I walked into the manager's room, and prepared myself to impress my future employer.

The room was really dark, with the only illumination coming from a desk lamp. Sitting behind the desk was a man in a dark blue business suit, puffing on a cigar. He looked to be in his fourties, of course because of the darkness, I couldn't really tell.

"Can I help you?" The mysterious man said in a low gruff voice. I walked closer to the desk, sitting down on the seat in front of it.

"U-um... D-diedre and uh...Nina said to talk to you about getting a job here?" I said staring nervously at the man. Due to my closeness, I was able to see a scar on the right side of his face. It was a slanted straight line from the corner of his eye to the bottom of his jaw line. He took a long draw from his cigar and let the smoke billow from his mouth as he spoke.

"You wanna dance?" Sal said with a grin. I shook my head in response to the question. Altough the thought of me dancing for a bunch of perverts made me sick. But I needed rent money.

"I have a condition, though" I said meekly to the shadowy man. He took another puff of his cigar and leaned back in his chair.

"And what would that be, Miss..." Sal said smugly. Though he trailed off when he realized I had not told him my name.

"Uh...Harleen sir. Harleen Quinzel" I responded. "My only condition is that I not be forced to..uh...strip my clothes. I mean, I'll dance however you want me to for whoever. I just don't want to be naked in public." Sal's smile got even smugger grin on his face before he burst into laughing.

"Heh. That's fine with me Miss Quinzel. You can be the club's new go-go dancer." Sal finished his cigar and put it out on the ashtray on the center of the desk. I had a confused look on my face as I didn't know what he meant by go-go dancer. He picked up on my expression and responded. "You see, I need someone to get the crowd pumped for the real action at night. The job of the go-go dancer is to do just that. You go out on the main stage, dance around a little bit, basically, just tease the crowd. Then Diedre and Nina or whoever else is working come out and give the crowd what they want. Oh. And if anyone in the crowd throws any money on stage, it's yours. And if you're real good at it, you'll go home with a good bit of money every night you work. What do you say?" Sal asked extending his hands towards me.

I sat there and considered the job. I wouldn't have to remove any clothing, and I would have enough money for rent. But was it worth it? Having to dance for a bunch of pervs every night in some skimpy costume. I didn't like it, but I had no other choice. I bent towards Sal and shook his hand. The only thing I could think about was that if my mother ever heard about this, she'd never let me live it down.

Thirty minutes later, I was the new go-go dancer of Maroni's Girls. Sal told me that I could start tonight, and that Nina and Diedre would get me an outfit. I walked out of Sal's office feeling as if I had sold my soul to the devil where the two were waiting for me.

"Harley!" Diedre screamed happily as she charged toward me. She glomped me with a powerful force that sent me colliding with the floor. "Are ya gonna be working with us, Harley? Hunh? Are ya?!" The purple haired vixen asked excitedly. I would have responded to her, had she not knocked the wind out of me.

"All right, get off of the girl, Diedre" Nina said as she lifted the girl off me. She offered her hand to me. I took it and she lifted me back up. "But back to the matter at hand. Will you be joining us here tonight Harley?" I looked at the girls who were looking at me with great smiles.

"Yeah, I'll be working with you guys now." I said with a friendly smile. Diedre bit her lip from excitement before they both screamed loudly

"YEA!" the two shouted. They each grabbed a side of my shoulders and directed me to another room of the bar. They opened a door that said "Employee's only" in gaudy green lettering.

"Well if you're going to be working, you'll need an outfit that'll drive the boys nuts!" Diedre said opening the door. The room was rectangularly shaped and one of the longer walls was covered with a mirror that stretched from side to side. There were tons of outfits scattered all over the room. Nina went over to a large chest on the far side of the room.

"I think I know the outfit that'll be _perfect_ for her." Nina said opening the chest. She rooted around in the chest while Diedre started to pull my shirt up. As soon as I felt it being lifted up, I immediately started to pull it down. The purple haired girl scoffed at my action.

"Oh come on, Harley. You're gonna see us naked, you should at least give us a peek of you." She said flirtatiously into my ear. I blushed and silently lifted my arms up so Diedre could get my shirt off. In a flash, my "Just Laugh" T-shirt was on the floor. Pff. This was a situation that I could not laugh at at all.

"There we go. Now be a dear and take your shoes off for me." Diedre said. I pulled up a chair that was in the corner. I looked over at Nina, who seemed to have pulled out a skirt from the chest. I sat down and started to unlace my shoes. I got my right off first, and when I started on my left I noticed that Diedre was staring at me, or more appropriately, my chest, with a smile. I blushed again. I'd never really had anyone, boy or girl, give me this type of attention. I got my left shoe off, and as soon as it was on the floor, Diedre grabbed the cuffs of my pants and pulled them right off of me. I was surprised at how swiftly and successfully she was able to get my jeans off.

"Harley's ready!" Diedre called out to Nina who closed the chest. "You find that outfit for her?" Nina walked over carrying the clothes she had been looking for.

"Oh, yeah" Nina said salaciously. "_Everyone's_ gonna love this on you, blondie." She threw me the skimpy clothing I would be wearing for my job as a go-go dancer.

In five minutes I had my new work outfit on. It consisted of three different items. The first was a zip-up corset that was black on the left side and red on the right side. On each side was a symbol on the center of the breast. The red side had a black spade and the black side had a red diamond. The corset fit extremely well to my form. As if it were made for me.

The second item was a matching red and black leather skirt. It fit snuggly around my hips, but still allowed me a lot of motion for walking and, of course, dancing. The black side was similar to the corset, as it had a diamond symbol. But instead of one, there was a cluster of three on the hip. The way Nina and Diedre were looking at me, the outfit was very flattering on me.

The last item, or items was a pair of knee-high lace-up boots. They, just like the corset and skirt fit perfectly on me. I really like the boots, as they made me a couple of inches taller. I stood in front of the mirror marveling at the outfit I had been provided. Nina was right when she said that it was perfect for me. The two walked up to my sides with lustful grins.

"Welcome to Maroni's Girls." Diedre said giving me a kiss on my right cheek. Nina followed with a kiss on my left. I don't know why, but whenever I was around those two, I just felt...relaxed. Like even though I was working in a strip club, it was like I was just hanging out with friends.

"You're gonna love it here." Nina said softly. She looked over at the clock on the wall. "We got fourty-five minutes till customers'll start coming. We should start teaching her some moves."

"Definitely" Diedre said in response. The two walked towards the door discussing what I should be taught for my first night. I looked at myself in the mirror.

_'You wanted a job'_ My inner voice said to me. I sighed and walked out the door, preparing for my new part-time job as a go-go dancer for Maroni's Girls.

* * *

Well, I hope this "little" section was good for you? What? Oh, are you disappointed you didn't get to hear about me dancing erotically? Maybe next time. Right now I got to rest my voice. Y'all come back now for more of my story, kay?

Oh, and by the way, keep an eye on my outfit. You might be seeing it later. Wink wink.


	4. Fast Times at Gotham U

Disclaimer: No characters in this story are mine. Do I have to do this every chapter?

_(A/N): Sorry for delay of this chapter. Went on vacation, had some wisdom teeth removed, had massive writer's block. But I'm going to get the next chapter up sooner next time. I do want to thank everyone whose added this story to their favorites, put up alerts for updates of this story, and reviewed. You guys rock. Enjoy this chapter Harley fans!_

**Chapter 4**

Aloha! Still want more, huh? I can't blame ya, it's just starting to get good. Let's see, last time I talked about my new job as a go-go dancer for Maroni's Girls, right? Good, now we can get to a really dramatic part of the story. Hope you like!

* * *

I woke up from a restless sleep on a cold December Friday at 6:30 A.M. The first thing I was aware of after waking up was a stiffness from my waist up. I stared with hatred at the pest that woke me up; my buzzing alarm clock. I got out of my bed and hit the device until the noise that woke me up stopped. As my grogginess wore off I realized I was still wearing my red and black corset that I wore while dancing. No wonder my chest was aching. I took the leather material off and headed toward the shower.

I stripped down, stepped into the shower and let the water cascade over me. As soon as the water hit me, I immediately perked up. As I washed my hair, I began to recall events from the previous day. I spent the first half at GU preparing for my upcoming midterms that I'd be taking next week. But I wasn't worried about them. Despite me spending every other night at Maroni's, I've been keeping a good grade point average. I knew I'd pass every one with flying colors. Especially my Psych class. Just like in high school, I'm the teacher's best student. Professor Kopski said he was considering me for an Arkham Asylum internship, something only upperclassmen usually do.

I finished washing my hair, and then began to lather up the rest of my body with my favorite coconut soap. After soaping up from head to toe, I rinsed my body off and turned off the shower. I stepped out of the shower stall and wrapped my green towel around my body. My hand wiped my foggy bathroom mirror so I could get a glimpse of myself. Staring back at me was a drenched blonde with bags under her eyes. Usually showers perk me up and keep me that way. This time however, I felt like I was about to slip into unconsciousness at any point.

Working at Maroni's was having a bad effect on me. I would show up at 8:00, get dressed for work while Nina and Diedre ogle me, and dance five times from 9:00-12:00. I absolutely _hated _dancing for the idiots that came into the joint. They would always yell crude things to me, call me bad names, and laugh at me when I picked up the money they threw on the stage. But every night I did the same thing. Swallowed my pride, slap on the lascivious grin the other girls wear, and shake my ass for every dumbass stupid enough to waste their money on watching a girl dance around. After work I stumbled tiredly to my car and drove to my apartment where I fell asleep to another dreamless slumber.

I got dressed in my usual outfit of jeans and a shirt and made my way to Gotham University. The only thing I was thankful for was that the holiday break was coming soon. I'd be able to catch up on the rest I needed, plus I'd get to spend some more time with Barbara. Ever since I got my job at Maroni's, I haven't been able to hang out with her as much. And speak of the Devil, when I parked my car, she was there waiting for me in our usual spot, the bench below the weeping willow tree on campus. She walked up to me with two drinks in her hand as I got out of my car.

"Hey there Invisible Girl." Barbara joked extending a cup towards me. "Where've you been lately?" I grabbed the cup and noted it's hot temperature. I brought the mysterious drink to my lips and took a small sip. Hot chocolate with caramel, my favorite. Barbara really knew me. I tried thinking of an excuse that Barb would believe. She didn't know about my job, and I didn't want her to know. I didn't want anyone to know. The only people who came to Maroni's were older men, but I constantly had this fear someone from school would walk in and tell everyone.

"Sorry, Barb." I said taking another sip of my drink. "I've been studying constantly for the midterms, you know?" We began walking toward the main campus as I continued to lie through my teeth to my best friend.

"You, study?" Barb said with a smirk. "I know you. You never study, and when a test comes, you somehow score perfectly." I gulped my next sip hard. I needed to think of another excuse, but I was drawing blanks. "Seriously Harleen, what're doing in your private life? Are you one of those costumed loonies we've got running around the streets at night?"

"N-no." I meekly replied. I thought of another made-up excuse, but it pained me to lie to her face. I sighed and looked at Barbara directly. "I've been working late nights as a dishwasher in this restaurant near the Narrows." Barb looked like she believed it.

"Why didn't you tell me you got a job, that's great, Harleen!" Those words rattled me. I wondered what her reaction would be if she knew I was basically working as a stripper.

The day went by slowly. It was just a bunch of review and preparation. I tried catching some shut-eye during some of my classes, but the sadistic professors thought it important I review everything I already knew. Eventually, I got to go to my Psychology class. I sat down in my regular seat and waited for the class to be over so I could go home and get the rest I truly needed. Professor Kopski was already there at his desk reading the latest issue of the Gotham Times. I think the headline said _'Chemical Accident at Botany Lab: Head Doctor Isley Reported Dead'._

The class slowly filled up with all the regulars of class. Once we were at our full capacity, Kopski put down his paper and walked to the blackboard behind his desk. He wrote a pie chart that was divided up into three sections of three different sizes.

"All right students." Professor addressed us. "Next week you'll be taking your midterm examination for this class. Up until now, you've had little to no work in this class. You've had classwork, true, but it's effect on your overall grade is very minor. It accounts for about fifteen percent of your grade." Professor K took his chalk and wrote down 'Classwork-15' in the smallest area of the pie chart.

"Next week's midterm will account for thirty-five percent of your overall grade" the professor went on. In the second largest section of the chart, he wrote 'Midterm-35'. I stared at the chart in slight disbelief. Kopski's grading system was weird. It wasn't like any of the other professor's systems. If someone failed the midterm, they'd have to get an 'A' on everything else to pass.

"Now in several months, when you are all taking you final examination, that will account for fifty percent of your final grade." Professor Kopski filled in the biggest chunk of the graph with the words 'Final Exam-50'. The professor walked out in front of his desk and sat down on top of it. "This means, my dear students, if you fail my midterm and my final, there's no chance of passing my course. So I do hope you've been paying attention." He said with a certain smugness. "Now, let's try and see if we can't get you all a passing grade."

Like every other class, time dragged on slowly. I wanted to pay attention, but I was so tired, I kept nodding off. Every time Barb noticed, she nudged me with her elbow, trying to keep me to stay awake. There was a time when being in my Psychology class was enough to make me really perky. But my occupation at Maroni's was sucking the perky right out. Eventually the class was over and I could finally get some rest. As I was packing up, Professor Kopski walked up to my desk. I was really hoping that he didn't ask me to stay after class.

"Harleen, can I see you for a couple of minutes?"

_'Damn'._ was the only thought that ran through my mind.

"Sure Professor K!" I said chipperly, even though I was about to collapse from exhaustion. Barb noted the professor's presence and began walking away. I heard her say 'I'll talk to you later' but I didn't respond. It took all I had to keep paying attention to Kopski. He sat down on Barb's desk and crossed his arms casually.

"Harleen, are you all right? I noticed you kept slipping into dreamland during our review." I was so tired of lying about my situation to everyone. Why couldn't everyone just let me be?

"Y-yeah I'm-i'm fine Professor" I said slightly tiredly. "I've just been working nights at this bar near the Narrows, and I'm really stressed about the midterms. Especially now that I know it counts for a huge chunk of my grade." Professor K smirked and uncrossed his arms.

"Harleen, don't worry. An intelligent girl like you will pass this thing with flying colors, I guarantee it." I gave him a small smile. A little reassurance from an unlikely source was nice.

"Thank you Professor"

"No problem Harleen." the professor said while flashing me a toothy smile. I didn't notice it at first, but his two front teeth were slightly bigger and longer than all the others. All I could think was that it adds on to his rat-like appearance. "So, you have any big plans for the break?"

"Nah," I replied. "I'm just planning on catching up on all the relaxation I need."

"You know," Kopski said nonchalantly. "I've got this cabin upstate. It's the perfect place to relax. Especially when it snows. And it's secluded from a lot of the other cabins, so it's really quiet up there. If you've got nothing to do, you could join me."

I was in complete shock. I'm talking serious disbelief. Here was my professor, a man I had begun to look up to as a mentor, trying to convince me to come to his cabin...for an entire three-week break...all alone?! As flattering as it was, I could not get myself involved in this type of situation. I already had enough stress as it was.

"So what do you say?" Kopski continued. "Just you, me, in a warm cabin on a quiet snowy hill, on Christmas?" There was no way I could do this. So I just did what I'd been doing. I lied.

"Th-that s-s-sounds nice, Professor," I stuttered my way through a lie. "But, I already promised Barbara I'd spend the break with her. You know, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year's, that sort of thing." It wasn't a total lie, I would be spending New Year's with Barb, but she and her family were going away for Christmas, and I'd be spending Hanukkah alone. All eight days.

The professor got a look on his face when I turned him down. It was kind of a cross between disapointment and anger. He got up and started walking toward his desk.

"I'm sorry to hear you won't be joining me." He said as he sat down on his leather seat. "But I do hope you have a nice break."

"Thank you, Professor" I said getting up from my desk and exiting the room. My feeling of exhaustion was now replaced with a feeling of disgust. How could he ask me, a student, to come up to his cabin all my herself? Who knows what he would try to do? I've seen movies that started out like that. A seemingly normal, good-looking professor invites his most air-headed student to some secluded place in the mountains, uses them for sex, then kills her and says that she just got 'lost'. Luckily for me I was smarter than that. At least, I convinced myself I was.

After driving back to my apartment, I slept for about 5 hours. It wasn't the best nap I ever had. I kept having the same dream over and over. It started out with me in my go-go outfit in a really dark area where I kept hearing giggling. Suddenly a spotlight hit me and illuminated me entirely. I looked up and there were Nina and Diedre sporting huge grins and operating the light while Sal looked on and chuckled wickedly. And I see everyone I know from college pointing at me and laughing, whistling, and calling me names. I literally wanted to die. So I tried running, but as I ran the spotlight kept following me. And the farther I went, the more people I saw, and the more laughter I heard. My eyes were blinded by tears as I tried escaping this awful humiliation.

Then out of nowhere, I slam right into Barbara and fall down on the floor. I look up at her and she just looks back at me with the same look of disapointment my mother had. I try explaining my situation to her, but she doesn't listen. She just stares at me with cold, judgmental eyes. Amongst the laughter and insults, I start to hear my mother's voice. I keep hearing her say I'm the biggest disapointment in her life, and that I'll never become anything but a sleazy stripper. I curl up on the ground and try to block out everything. My mother's voice, Barb's stare, the college kid's jeering. All of a sudden, every thing becomes silent, and the darkness on the edge of the spotlight begins to take shape. The shade grew tall and lanky, kind of like a human but with long, jagged finger's, blank white eyes, and a smile wider than humanly possible. It was then I realized the shade thing was in the shape of Kopski. He started to inch toward my curled up body as I cried in fear.

"Come on, Harleen!" The monster said to me as it grabbed my shoulders. I looked at it's face in complete paralyzing fear. The shadowy Kopski licked it's pointy teeth with a long slimy tongue. "No need to cry Harleen! WHY DON'T YOU JUST LAUGH?!" The shadow opened it's mouth and lunged toward my head.

"NO!!" I cried as I fell out of my bed and onto the hard ground. I realized that everything was just a dream, and got up. I looked at my self in the mirror and saw that my face was streaked in tears. And it wasn't the only thing. As I sat back down on my bed, I noticed that my pillow was soaked, too. I curled up into a fetal position and reflected on what my dream meant. Maybe my mind was telling me I have too many secrets in my life. Perhaps it was saying that running from one problem isn't the solution, since I'm bound to run into another. I sighed and got changed into a different pair of jeans and shirt. I've got no other choice but to keep my secrets. I can't let anyone know about my job at Maroni's or about how the professor made a pass towards me. These problem's would just have to stay until something came along.

I looked at the clock and noted the time. 10:40 p.m. I decided to head down to Maroni's Girls. I wasn't working tonight, I just needed to pick up my check. I got into my car and headed toward the Narrows. As I arrived at work, noticed that the neon sign at Maroni's was not on. Which was weird, considering it was always on during work. I got out of my car and walked toward the door. Suddenly the doors burst outward and Diedre emerged, wailing loudly.

"Diedre, are you ok?" I asked extending a hand toward her shoulder, trying to comfort her. She noticed my presense and lunged toward me, wrapping her arms around my waist, and burying her head into my chest.

"Harleen!" the poor girl cried while sobbing uncontrollably into my shirt. "Sal's closing the joint down! We're all out of a job!" It was kind of hard to understand her, since after every other word she cried for 20 seconds. But as soon as I got her message, I felt like crying too.

"Why is he closing?! And how come he didn't mention anything last night?" I asked the weeping purple haired girl. She lifted her head off my chest and wiped her nose.

"I don't know. I think it has something to do with his other business." I was confused. Other business? What could she possibly mean? Diedre wiped her eyes and reached into her pocket and pulled out a check.

"Here's your last check. I'm really gonna miss you Harleen" She sniffled as she handed me the paper. She gave me a huge hug and walked away. I could hear her start a new round of crying as she departed. I looked at the amount on my last paycheck. Two hundred and fifty dollars.

_'Shit' _I thought as I stared at my severance. _'If I can't get another job, I'm gonna be homeless in a month!_ Why was this happening to me? First Kopski hits on me, now I lost my job, what the hell else could go wrong?

Yeah pretty sucky huh? My favorite professor turns out to want me to be more than his best student, and I lose my job all in one day. That really got me down, but old me still held out hope for the better. Eventually my midterms came and past. Like Barb said, I did just fine on them. Though one thing bothered me. When I was taking my Psychology midterm, a lot of the questions on it had nothing to do with what we had been told to study. Most of the questions were from the beginning of the semester, some were from class discussions, and some questions seemed to be made up just for this exam. I was slightly shaking and sweating while taking the exam, but I did what I could and hoped for the best.

The winter break went by extremely fast. I didn't go out of my apartment very much except to get food. All I did was watch Christmas specials and sleep. I cursed at the fact that I was only 19. If I was 21 I could at least drink the holidays away like most depressed people do.

The first night of Hanukkah came by and I had no idea what to do. My mother's side of the family was Jewish and I always wanted to celebrate Hanukkah. But whenever the eight crazy nights came, my mother honored our ancestors by pounding back as much alcohol as she could on a eight-day bender. Mazel Tov.

At least I got to spend the last four days with Barbara and her family. She and I spent New Year's Eve and Day together. On the eve of the new year, Barb asked me what my resolution would be. I told her that I was going to revamp my life. How I was going to, I had no idea.

School eventually started again and I couldn't wait to see my scores on my midterms. The professors in each of my classes waited until the end of our class and then gave us our scores individually. My grades were especially good. High scores in my Calculus, Chemistry, and History classes. My last grade of the day was my Psych midterm, something I wasn't anticipating.

Kopski greeted me with a warm smile as I walked into class. I gave him a small smile and turned away quickly. I still couldn't look him in the eye. We started a new section in our class without having our midterm grades revealed. I was fidgeting slightly throughout class. Barb noticed and put a hand on my shoulder.

"You did fine, relax" Barb said with a warm smile. I smiled back and eventually stopped fidgeting. The bell rang and I nearly jumped out of my seat. I headed toward the door fastly but I was stopped by 6 words I did not want to hear.

"Harleen, can I see you quickly?" Kopski said as I was at the frame of the door. I sighed defeatedly. What did he want now? To see if I wanted to go skinny dipping with him or something? I walked over to Kopski's desk and gave a look to Barb. She gave me a motion that said _'I'll see you at your car'._

"Pull up a seat to my desk, Harleen" He said with a slightly malicious tone. I gulped loudly and grabbed a chair from a desk and sat down in front of his desk. "Harleen, do you remember what I said about your midterm?"

"U-umm...Th-that they c-c-count like thirty-five percent?" I stuttered slightly.

"That's right my dear." Oh god, I did not like the way he said that. "Harleen, you've been my best student ever since this school year started. But I've got to say, I was _not_ impressed with your midterm."

I started shaking violently. _'This isn't happening' _I thought. _'Please, please, please make this better' _I prayed in my head to whatever god was listening.

"H-h-how b-bad did I-i do?" I asked quiveringly. Kopski put on a small grin. I think he was enjoying my misery. He opened a drawer in his desk and retrieved a folder. He pulled out a midterm that I was sure was mine. I started to shake even more when I noticed tons of red lines through the white paper.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" He asked snidely as he threw the paper in front of me. My eyes literally buldged out of my head as I saw the grade. My heart sank in my chest and my voice was cracked.

"Twenty-seven percent?!" I yelled with a cracked voice. I started to feel really dizzy. My stomach lurched around violently like I was going to throw up. "This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real. Please tell me this isn't real, please!" I begged Kopski. And when I say begged, I litterally mean I threw my arms on his desks and put my hands in a begging position. Kopski snickered as tears welled in my eyes. I put my head down on his desk and began to cry. If this was thirty-five percent of my grade, I'd have to get a perfect score on my final to pass this class. But if it was anything like this midterm, I was screwed!

"Harleen..." Kopski said gently. I looked up with tear filled eyes and saw that Kopski was leaning on toward me with a gentle look on his face. "Would you like me to make this go away?" I looked at him confusedly. Was he mocking me? What did he mean by 'make this go away'? I didn't really care if he was making fun of me. I had lost my job and was going to lose my apartment by February if I didn't get a job. I couldn't have 'About to fail Psych' added to my worries list. I nodded my head and wiped my eyes.

"I'll d-do anything. I just can't fail this class or I'll lose my sch-scholarship" I softly said. Kopski nodded his head slowly. He directed his hand toward my left eye and wiped away a tear.

"Tell you what Harleen, I'll change that grade to one better suited to your GPA, all right?" He said soothingly as he stroked my blonde hair softly. In any other situation, I would of been really creeped out he was touching me like this, but he was actually making me feel better.

"Th-thank you s-s-so much, P-professor" I whispered. He continued stoking my hair as I closed my eyes and lied my head back on his desk. Maybe I was wrong about Kopski. Maybe since I was his best student, he wanted me to be more relaxed. And maybe his invitation to his cabin over winter break was more innocent than I had previously thought.

"Your welcome Harleen" He whispered back, resting his hand on my head. I smiled contentedly while resting in my arms on his desk. "Though, Harleen, I will need you to do something for me." My eyes opened suddenly. I looked up at him. He still had that gentle look on his face, but I had a bad feeling.

"Wh-what's that, Professor?"

"Well, Harleen..." Kopski began to say. "I'm a very lonely man, I spend most of my days here in this university, and when I'm not here I'm usually at my house drinking all by myself. I try to get out, sure. But I just can't seem to find anyone interesting anymore." I gulped slowly. I could only imagine what he was about to ask me.

"And the thing is Harleen, I've finally found someone interesting. You" I started to shake slightly again. "You're the most down-to-earth, intellectuall, witty person I've met in a long time. And it would make me the happiest man in the world if I could take you out sometime." I knew that was coming, but part of me wanted to believe my prediction was wrong. There was no way I could go out with the professor. If someone found out, I'd never be able to live it down. I heard about this one girl who went out with a professor, and when the relationship was revealed, the professor lost his job, and the girl was branded a whore, who used the professor to pass school. I couldn't have anyone think that about me.

"Pr-professor, I can't go out with yo-you." I stuttered while explaining my reasons. "S-someone here could find out, and y-you'd lose your job...and...and..."

"Harleen, I know resturants and clubs that no one from here goes to. I can assure you, you and I can have several relaxing nights on the town."

"Professor, I-i just think us going out is a b-b-bad idea." I innocently explained. I really didn't want to go out with Kopski, but he wouldn't really hold his power of being able to change my grade over my head would he?

Kopski put on a sterner face and sat back in his chair.

"Harleen if you want your scholarship and want to pass my class, I highly suggest you consider my proposal. It's not every day I offer a pretty girl like you a chance like this." I whined softly. The only way to stay in school was to whore myself to a teacher? Heh. I never saw that after-school special. I sighed. I needed to stay in school. And I needed this class to become a psychologist. If this was the only way...then so be it.

"Do...do you promise no one will find out?" I asked defeatedly. If I was going to do this, I wanted to do it on terms I could agree to.

Kopski smirked sneeringly. I knew he was enjoying this feeling of superiority. But what could I do?

"I promise Harleen, I won't let anyone find out about us. I give you my word."

Kopski set up a date. We would go out on our first date on Saturday at this high class resturant owned by Bruce Wayne. I didn't have any nice clothing, so he also scheduled us to go shopping before we dined. I got up from my seat and headed toward the door. My heart felt like it had sunk into my stomach. Kopski suddenly appeared behind me.

"Oh, and Harleen?" I heard him ask. I turned around and he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards him, where he planted a huge kiss on my quivering lips. I was shaking throughout the entire thing. It was like I had just sold my soul to the devil, and this kiss was my signiture. Kopski eventually broke the kiss and smiled at me.

"I'll pick you up at five on Saturday, Harleen"

"Ok, Professor Kopski" I meekly said. He chuckled slightly.

"Please, Harleen. Call me Guy".

"Ok. Goodbye..uh..Guy". He responded to my farewell as I walked out of the room. I got six steps outside of the classroom and started to feel really weak. I slouched up against the hallway's wall and slowly slid down till I was sitting on the cold tile floor.

I was going to date my professor to keep myself in school. I would be safe, but would it really be worth it?

* * *

Sorry to leave ya on a down point, but that's what life is; a series of down points. But don't worry, this story eventually has a high point. One of which includes everyone's favorite psycho clown. And I ain't talking about John Wayne Gacy. Buh-Bye for now!


	5. Reality Check

Disclaimer: Still don't own any DC comic characters. Though I'd love to own Harley any day of the week.

**Chapter 5**

Hey hey hey! Glad to see you're back. In case ya missed out last time, I lost my job, failed my psych midterm, and agreed to go out with my professor to keep myself from flunking college. Pretty sad huh? Well I'll go ahead and tell you now, this part isn't any better. This is probably the lowest part of Harleen Quinzel's life. But keep following my story, and you'll see my transformation into the super-lovable, cute-to-boot Harley Quinn! Now on with the story!

* * *

It was a cool Saturday night in January, and I was in one of the most ritziest restaurants in all of Gotham. I sat alone in the center of the huge bistro as I waited for my date, Professor Guy Kopski, to come back from the bathroom. If there was one thing I hated more than being blackmailed into coming onto a date, it was being brought to a high-class place like this and then being left alone. I felt so out of place. Everyone else at this restaurant was either a lawyer or a doctor, and I was just a random college kid in a cheap, trampy red dress.

God, I hated that dress. Since I didn't have any 'sophisticated' clothing, Guy dragged me to this tailor where all these old guys measured every inch of my body. And they weren't gentle about it either. They wrapped measuring tape all around my breasts, my waist, and my hips so tightly I felt like I was going to suffocate. In no time at all, they whipped up the slinkiest, most exposing dress I had ever seen. I mean, it offered nothing to the imagination. One glimpse at me, and you pretty much got a good look at my goods. The way Guy and that tailor and everyone in that restaurant looked at me made me so humiliated. I was exposed on so many levels.

It had been 10 minutes and Kopski had still not come back. I was starting to worry he had left me in this fancy restaurant in Jessica Rabbit's dress all for a joke. I started to get up, that was until I noticed a well-groomed man in a tuxedo making his way towards my table. I sat and watched him saunter over to me. He had slick black hair and appeared to be in his late twenties or early thirties. He finally reached my table and put his hand on the back of my chair.

"Excuse me, miss" The man said suavely. "Are you here by yourself?" I gulped. Was this another older guy trying to hit on me? Did I put out some sort of vibe to men who were old enough to be my father? I stroked my hair and smiled to the man.

"No, I'm here with...someone" I responded. The man smiled back at me.

"I was just wondering since you seem to be fairly young for this type of place. Last time I checked, teenage girls prefer to be with others there own age, instead of boring places like this." I giggled smally in response to the man's comment. I was thankful he wasn't hitting on me. One older guy was enough.

"Well, it's where my date wanted to go. And to be honest, a place with class is a nice change of pace" The man chuckled to my response. He looked like he was about to say something else but this server for the restaurant interrupted our conversation. Apparently the guy was waiting for a girl named Vicki Vale who had just shown up.

"Sorry to leave you alone, but I've got a reporter waiting for me. It was nice meeting you, though Miss..." He trailed off as he extended a hand towards me. I took his hand and shook it daintily.

"Quinzel." I said letting go of his hand. "Harleen Quinzel."

"Wayne." The well-dressed man said in a manner similar to mine. "Bruce Wayne. And if you ever need anything, just come find me." He said and he departed to another part of the restaurant. I was slightly shocked. I had just met the illustrious Bruce Wayne and didn't even realize it. I had imagined him to be another corporate asshole, but he was a complete gentleman. And it made me happy that there were grown men in Gotham that weren't focused on getting younger girls to have sex with them. And at that point, Guy had come back from the bathroom or wherever he had been and sat at the table.

"Saw you shaking hands with Bruce Wayne." The rat-faced professor said. "You know he's donated a lot to Gotham University."

"His company is also the sponsor of my scholarship" I said with a slightly icy tone. I wanted to remind him that my scholarship was the only reason I was here in the first place.

"Well, if you stick with me I can assure you that scholarship will stay with you." Guy said with that damn smug attitude of his. I sighed sadly. I kept asking myself how long I would have to do this. I still had five months left of school. He didn't expect me to go out with him for that long did he? I shuddered at the thought of going out with him that long.

Dinner went by extremely slowly. I tried spending as much of the dinner as I could with food in my mouth so I wouldn't have to talk to Guy. He however, wouldn't shut up. He kept talking about all of the awards he had won and how he had recently been given tenure at GU. You can only imagine how many times I put bites of chicken into my mouth and wished it was the barrel of a gun instead. Thankfully, time did what it does best and went by, and before I knew it Kopski was driving me back to my apartment. He pulled his car up in front of the complex and put the car into park.

"I had a nice time tonight, Harleen." Guy said turning to me with a toothy smile. That grin of his made me sick. His whole act made me sick. He knew the only reason I was even out with him was because he had the power to make or break my future. And the fact that he was pretending like I was doing this willingly degraded me even more. But I knew there was nothing that I could do. I'd just have to suffer for the rest of the year or at least until he got tired of me.

"Yeah it was fun." I said with a fake smile plastered to my face. He reached his hand around my head and started bringing me towards him.

_'Oh Lord' _I thought with a small grimace. _'He's gonna kiss me. How far's he gonna go? How long's it gonna be? Is he at least gonna have a mint before he kisses me? He had a ton of garlic at dinner!' _My inner voice was protesting like a hippie from the sixties as I was brought into a horrid lip-lock. The kiss started out small, but after thirty seconds he opened his mouth and his tongue was exploring every inch of my mouth. I'm just glad his eyes were closed during the embrace, since my eyes looked like they were screaming for help. After about four minutes, he broke his foul-tasting kiss and opened my door.

"I'll see you at school on Monday." He said oh so smugly as I departed from his car. I didn't know how much longer I could keep it up. Kopski was the most boring jackass I had ever met in my life. And my entire college career depended on me going out with him whenever it suited him. I breathed heavily and walked inside, heading toward my place. As I reached the elevator, I bumped into my landlord, Sally. She commented on my skimpy dress, and I explained that I went to a high-class restaurant with a friend from school. She gave me a look but whatever she had to say was less important than what she really had to say to me.

"Harleen sweetie," Sally said gently. "I've got some bad news about your rent situation." My eyes widened slightly. In my five months living there, Sally had set my rent to a reasonable price of 150 to 175 dollars a month. For the last two months, I had started saving money from my gig at Maroni's. Now that I was unemployed I figured I could use the money I had in the bank to pay my rent till I found another job.

"W-what about my rent?" I asked the motherly landlord. Sally looked really uncomfortable. I could already tell she was about to lay something really heavy on me.

"It's just that..." She said contritely. She looked down for a moment and took a huge breath. I was not looking forward to this next sentence. "Harleen, I have to raise up your rent. The new higher-ups say I can't charge you less just because your struggling. Your new rent's going to have to be at least 375 dollars a month now."

My jaw dropped. I could barely afford 175 a month, now it was over twice that! I only had about 250 bucks in my savings account and it meant nothing. I pleaded with Sally trying to get her to let me slide for now. Good God, how much more of the shit storm that was my life did I have to endure?

"Sally, please." I begged in my most pathetic voice ever. I approached Sally and did my best to convince her to let my by. "I don't have that type of money. I've got no job and I'm this close to losing my scholarship at Gotham U. You've got to do something!" All my reasons did nothing. Despite her fondness for me, she supressed it and covered it with a tone I never heard her use before.

"I'm sorry Harleen!" She snapped at me suddenly. "But there's nothing I can do. If you don't have rent by Friday, I'm going to have to kick you out." Those words made me absolutely still. Kicked out. Unless I got money within a week, I'd be homeless. Sally apologized for the whole situation, and said that everything would work out. But by this point in my life, I was pretty much convinced that they wouldn't.

I lied awake in my apartment for the rest of the weekend and considered my options. I thought about asking Barbara if she and her family could put me up, but then I remembered there was barely even enough room for all of the Gordons, much less me. I thought about selling some of my possessions for money, until I realized I didn't really have anything of value. I can't even describe how depressed I felt. In the last half year I had been disowned, worked in a strip club, forced into a relationship with the scummiest of professors from the university I had broken my back to get into, and now I was about to live on the streets. I had never been a particularly religious girl, but after all of this I started to believe I was hated by whatever god was up there.

Monday crept up, and even as depressed as I was, I dragged myself to school. One of the worst parts about school was that in Psych class, Kopski always exerted his power over me. And he always made me play his little games in class. If there was ever a school board official in class, he always made me say things to make him look good. The only thing that comforted me about going to a class with an asshole professor was that my best friend was there with me. Not today though. And not for the next two weeks. Apparently Barbara caught a bad case of the flu from staying out at nights. Why in the world would she need to be roaming the streets of Gotham at night?

Psych class went by like always. And as always, Guy pulled me aside and asked to meet with him for a few minutes.

_'I swear to God'_ I thought spitefully. _'If he wants to make out here, I'm going to punch him in his goddamn mouth._ I didn't notice it at first, but ever since Kopski and I started going out, I had gone from nervous stuttering to violent thoughts. I hoped that would just go away.

"You wanted to see me, Professor Kopski?". I asked sarcastically. That was another thing. He always made me call him by 'Professor Kopski'. Not 'Professor' or even 'Professor K'. He was _really_ turning me bitter on the inside.

"I noticed you seemed really detached during class." He said organizing the papers on his desk. "Something's obviously bothering you."

_'No shit!' _I thought angrily. _'You've got me prostituting myself to stay here.'_

"It's nothing." I said curtly. "Just some stuff I'm dealing with at my place." He looked up from the papers he was shuffling with seemingly interested.

"Is it something you want to talk about?" He said with I'm sure was a feigned interest. I didn't really feel like talking to him about my rent problems. He was already giving me enough grief. I told him I didn't want to talk, but he kept saying he was willing to listen. I figured that it would shut him up if I just told him I was going to be homeless on Friday. God what a mistake. Why? I'll tell you why. After I had finished explaining to Guy about my problems, I started crying. Yes crying. Listing everything that was wrong in my life to the man who was the biggest problem in it was extremely eye opening and I just cracked. As I sobbed on Guy's desk for the second consecutive week, the professor offered another solution to another of my problems.

"Move in with me." The professor said blankly. I didn't look up at him, as his words froze me completely. Was he really serious? Did he actually think I would consider it? I mean dating him was one thing, but moving in?! Tons of scary scenarios ran through my mind as I began to contemplate on what Kopski was trying to get from me.

"Professor, I...I can't do that." I responded, lifting myself from his desk and drying my eyes. "I'm not even supposed to be in a relationship with you, and you want me to live with you? I'm sorry but, I just can't do that." I explained meekly. He looked like he took what I said hard. But he didn't look sad, more angry. He got up from his desk and went to look out of his window.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Harleen." He said giving me a glance. "All I'm trying to do is be charitable to a poor student the world has conspired against. But if you prefer to live on the streets, you're more than welcome to. Maybe you can find a place in the Narrows. The isle succumbed to madness."

I thought about it. I couldn't go to school and live on the streets. And I certainly couldn't live in the Narrows. Barbara told me that ever since this guy who dressed as a scare crow poisoned the area, there's nothing but insane citizens there. In fact, most of the isle was incorporated into Arkham Asylum. I sighed as the realization dawned on me. I needed a place, and here was one. I reluctantly agreed to live with Kopski until I found a new place. I'd say I sold my soul, but I've already done that at least twice in my life.

Kopski and I took Friday off and got all of my personal belongings out of my apartment. We got all of my clothes, school stuff, and other things of mine packed up and loaded in Guy's large SUV. Guy told me that I could just leave my computer, bed, couch and TV, since he had things like that at his house. I was really sad packing all of my possessions up. I hadn't even lived in the place for a year and I was already saying goodbye to it. I didn't even get to give Sally a proper farewell. I just left my keys in my empty apartment and went on my way to Guy Kopski's house.

We arrived and got all of my things unpacked by Saturday. Guy's house was actually very nice. It was a two story house near the edge of Gotham. It was the kinda house you could raise a family in. Or in Guy's case board a college student you're dating. I settled in a small bedroom right across the hall from Guy's room. It may have been small, but at least I had place for all of my precious items. Guy said he had to go out and meet some of his colleagues and I was really thankful. I got really tired from all of the moving so I decided to take a nap. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 6:00 p.m.

_'Just a couple of hours.' _I told myself as I lied on my new bed. Slowly I drifted into a slightly pleasant sleep, thinking that living here might not be so bad.

* * *

All right now uh...what I'm about to describe is really personal to me. If you don't like unfortunate events to those who don't deserve it, I'd stop paying attention. Cause what's about to happen is really...bad. Just listen.

* * *

It was about 11:00 at night, and I was still sleeping. Suddenly I heard a loud sound from downstairs. It awoke me, and I sat up on my bed groggily. I rubbed my eyes as I realized the sound was from a door being slammed. I guessed that Guy was back from wherever he went. I lied back on the bed, but what sounded like stumbling from outside kept me up. I closed my eyes but my door was suddenly open and my lights were suddenly turned on. I looked to my door frame and there was Guy in a slouched position. He absolutely _reeked _of alcohol. Just like my mother used to.

"Hey Harley" Kopski said drunkly. "Sssllleeeping?" He drunkenly lisped as he sauntered over to me. I got nervous and covered myself up with the bed's covers. Here was a drunken man, in the room of a girl, who was in just a shirt and panties. He reached my bed frame and sat down on my bed. "Ya know Harley, I always loved your blonde hair. Sooo pretty." He reached over to my head and started stroking my hair. I started breathing really fast. If there was one thing I was scared of, it was drunk people.

"Hey Harley..." The drunk Kopski said as he moved his head close to my ear. He got right up to ear and whispered into it. "Wanna fuck?"

The next sound in my room was a huge SLAP. I smacked his face as hard as I could with my right hand. I couldn't handle that. I was _not _going to have sex with him. He's already got me dating with him and living with him, but there was no way in hell I was going to intimate with this monster. The force of the slap knocked Kopski off of my bed and onto the ground. He didn't like that very much.

"You ungrateful bitch!" I heard him yell from the floor. He got up swiftly and pinned me to the bed. He had one hand over my mouth, and another over my stomach. My belly was in severe pain as he tried forcing his hand through it to keep me from moving. Tears started to well in my eyes, but Guy just started a speech I'll never forget.

"I can't fucking believe you! I change your grade so you can keep your _precious _scholarship, _and _I give you a god damn place to live so you're not out on the street! And you dare slap me like a fucking bitch?!" Guy screamed at me for I don't know how long. As he yelled, bits of saliva and excess alcohol landed on my tear soaked face. He lifted his hand off of my mouth and got really close to my face.

"Now I'll ask you once." Kopski said angrily. "Are you going to fuck me as a thank you for all I've done? Or am I going to have to throw you out on your ass like garbage."

This wasn't happening. I did my best to convince myself that, but it wasn't true. I was actually being threatened with either having sex with this beast or living on the street. I was apprehensive to say the least. Up until now, I had never had sex. I guess you could say I was waiting for the right guy, but that wasn't true. I just never pursued a sexual relationship. Now a sexual relationship was threatening me with homelessness. I can't explain why, but I relented and agreed to have sex with Kopski. Maybe I didn't want to be on the streets. Maybe I thought he'd still try to fuck me if I declined. But whatever reason, I agreed to it. And it was the worst night of my life. From the moment he penetrated me, I was nothing more than a sex doll. He could've cared less about how I felt during the process. I was thankful it didn't last that long, but even after it was over, I felt...numb. I felt like the lowest piece of trash on the planet. As soon as Kopski passed out in my bed, I went to the bathroom, where I cried on the floor until I fell asleep.

I know, I know. Pretty harsh huh? I'm only grateful it didn't ruin sex for me completely. Anyway after that night, my life settled into a routine. Every week I went to school just like any other week. When the weekend came, Guy took me out to another high-class restaurant or nightclub. And at night, he took me to his bedroom where he humiliated me, violated me, and left me feeling worse than I did before. This awful way of life continued for five months. Five grueling months of being used as Guy Kopski's sex puppet. I can't tell you how much I wanted to talk to Barb about everything. But I couldn't find her. Apparently she switched her major from psychology to criminology and transferred to another college that was better suited to for it. I tried talking to her, but her new college was on the other side of Gotham, far from the clutches of Kopski. On top of that she got a new job, but refused to tell me anything about it. Eventually due to our lack of communication with each other, our friendship faded into nothing, and my depression grew stronger.

After five months of living with my emotional captor, a ray of hope entered my life. Finals at school were approaching, and I got the idea that after they were over, Guy would cease our unholy relationship. I studied hard, and I really mean that. I focused all of my attention on schoolwork and nothing but. I was going to make damn sure a repeat of last time didn't happen. I wasn't going to give Kopski anymore leverage over me. I was already sleeping with him, what the hell else could he want from me? Whatever he could want, I wasn't going to let him have anymore power to control me. I was going to show him that I was still strong after all he'd done to me.

Finals approached as the last weeks of my freshman year came to a close. I took each one with extreme attention to every question. When my Psych final came, I can't even describe how nervous I was. Knowing how much I had to lose coupled with the way Kopski looked at me during the exam made the test even harder. But I answered every question to the best of my ability, and wrote the longest essay of my life. I felt good after that exam. I turned it in with the cockiest attitude I had in a while. I smirked to Kopski as I handed him my paper which I was sure would get me an 'A'. Kopski grinned back at me as he took it. He told me and the other students in class that the grades would be posted outside of class in three days. I spent the next couple of days doing random things like movies and going out. I felt so proud of myself since I knew in my heart I got an 'A'.

I finished each other final with similar ease. Soon, the day came where the Psych final grade would be posted. I ran as fast as I could to get my result, but by the time I got there, a crowd consisting of Kopski's other students from my and other classes had amassed in front of the results. Eventually I made my way to the front of the crowd. I looked at the long piece of paper posted on the wall and scanned the names on it. Names like 'Falcone, Alberto', 'Ghul, Talia al', and 'Machin, Lonnie' appeared to me as I looked for my name. Finally my eyes gazed upon my name, and I recoiled from horror.

'Quinzel, Harleen...Grade: F...Score: Thirty-six percent out of one hundred.'

I was stunned, frozen, stupefied, dismayed, and any other word you can think of to describe my complete shock from seeing my score. Thirty-six percent?! How the hell did that happen?! I knew there was no way this was right. Kopski obviously fucked up my score. I barged directly into that bastard professor's room to give him a piece of my mind. I saw him at his desk, leaning back in his chair. I yelled louder than I ever yelled in my life.

"KOPSKI!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "After all I've done! After the five months of hell you put me through, you flunk me?!" I can't even begin to describe the rage I was feeling. I never got angry. Usually I'd just become meek and nervous, but Kopski crossed a line. He brought out a dark side of me I had repressed for all my life. "I busted my ass for that test, why the hell would you do this to me?!"

"I'm sorry Harleen." Kopski said with fake sympathy. "But you should've studied harder, instead of going out all the time." he pompously said. My face contorted in anger. I was so close to strangling him.

"Give me one god damn reason I shouldn't report you to the school board for violating me!" I threatened to his face. He combed a hand through his long, greasy jet black hair and chuckled wickedly.

"Please, Harley. I've been a professor here for nine years. I'm very good friends with every member of the board. And you are just a struggling student who has failed my class and lost her scholarship. To them, you'll just be another student making up excuses because of a few bad things happened to you. Face it Harleen. I've been holding the cards for a good long while."

I was pissed to say the least. My eyes welled up as I stormed out of his classroom. I ran out of the school and off of the campus. I made my way to an abandoned alley in the streets of Gotham. I fell to my knees onto the dirty ground and screamed till my throat was sore.

"WHY?!" I yelled to no one. "Why me?! Why do _I_ deserve this?!" I screamed things like this for about fifteen minutes. It was unfair, I thought. Everything that could've gone wrong since I came to Gotham did. It morbidly amazed me how in one year I lost contact with my family and my new best friend, worked in the shittiest of places with one of the worst jobs ever, and lost my first independent place. I had actually gone against everything I believed in and dated a professor, obeyed him like a dog, and worst of all gave him my most sacred things. My virginity. I sat up against a brick building in the dingy alley and sobbed. It wasn't fair, I didn't deserve this did I?

Suddenly I felt a dull pain in my butt. I sat up and saw that I had sat on something covered in an old newspaper. I took the paper off and I got scared at what I saw. It was a gun. A small grey steel revolver to be specific. I picked it up nervously. I checked the barrel to see if there were any bullets in it. And there were. Two shiny gold-plated bullets glinted in the darkness of the barrel. Was this a sign? I mean, my life was pretty much ruined. And here was a solution to all of my problems. I gulped and started to shake. Was I really considering this? I thought about it. I didn't have anything left to look forward to. No family, no friends, no place to go, no future to look forward to. Just one pull of the trigger and it would all be over. I breathed shakily as I put the barrel back into the gun. I cocked the gun and brought it to my face. I opened my mouth as tears rolled down my cheeks. My lips wrapped around the cold, dirty metal as I guided my twitching finger to the trigger.

"Goobuh..." I tearfully said with my mouth full of gun.

_'Wait' _The voice in my head said. _'You don't deserve this.' _I pulled the gun out of my mouth to see what the voice was heading towards.

"Huh?" I asked weepingly. "What'd ya mean?" I think I was starting to go crazy. I was talking to no one. But at least someone wanted to talk to me.

_'You should give these bullets to the person who deserves them. Kopski. The man responsible for everything. You go to his house, murder him, take your things and anything of value and get out of this town. And start anew.'_

The voice was right. Why waste this ammo on me, the victim in all of this, when I can use them to punish that prick? I stood up and looked at my cell phone for the time. It was 7:00 at night. I decided to wait until later that night to go murder Guy. The darkness would help me escape if anyone tried catching me. I put the gun into my front pants pocket. I actually kinda liked the feeling of it in there. I walked to the end of the alley and put on a wicked smile. Guy Kopski had no idea the hell awaiting him. For once, _I _was the one in power.

I was right outside of Guy's house and according to my cell it was midnight. Perfect. Guy was probably passed out in his bed from drinking to much. I decided to sneak in from the back. The front door makes to much noise, but the back is surprisingly quiet. I made my way into the house without any noise and made my way up the stairs towards Guy's room. Standing outside Guy's room I pulled out my gun and cocked it. I was shaking excitedly. This asshole was finally going to get what was coming to him. I opened the door and walked toward the bed in the center of the room. I got to the bed and pulled back the covers. I was confused as Kopski wasn't there.

CLICK I heard from behind me. It was the sound of a gun cocking. My eyes went wide as I realized who was behind me.

"Drop the gun, Harleen. Now." A familiar voice said. I knew he had a gun, and knowing Kopski, he'd probably shoot my arm first, have sex with me, then kill me. I dropped the gun sullenly. God, I couldn't even kill someone without screwing it up.

"Harleen, Harleen, Harleen. You know, I didn't want it to come to this." He made his way in front of me. His gun was much bigger than mine, and looked like it could do some considerable damage. "I just can't believe you'd actually try to kill me. That's low." He said picking up my meager weapon.

"Can't believe it?" I said enraged. "You've ruined my life!" I shouted to the rat-like man. All he did in response was laugh.

"Ruin? Harleen, your life was already ruined before I had any involvement. I just took advantage of your situation for personal gain." His words made my blood boil. I thought about attacking him, but he was over a foot taller than me and could easily take me. I hated being 5'3".

"Don't get mad Harleen." He said in a mock-comforting voice. "If it makes you feel any better, you're actually not as dumb as you think." I had no idea what he was talking about.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, you don't think you actually failed my tests do you?" Huh? What the hell did he mean? "You've always been my best student. And I've wanted ever since the first day you walked into my class." My jaw dropped, it all became clear. He's planned this since the beginning!

"You bastard!" I shouted. "You changed my grades didn't you?!"

"And she finally gets it. You see, I found out that the only way you were paying your school fees was with the Wayne Enterprises Scholarship. Then I found out that the only way to keep it is to pass all your classes, especially the ones your major depends on. After that, all I had to do was make some changes to your midterm, and you turned all 'Don't fail me, I'll do anything!'. It's the best idea I've had in a long time."

"But why did you change my final?!" I tearfully yelled. I did my best to restrain tears, but this revelation was extremely unsettling.

"Well, I've grown tired of you, Harleen." He nonchalantly said. "You obviously don't want to be in this relationship, so I decided to set you free."

"I'll tell them!" I screamed at him. "I'll tell everyone what you just told me! I'll make sure you never work anywhere ever again!"

"Harleen, who are they going to believe? A well-respected professor, or an attempted murderer?" I was stunned. He was blackmailing me. "Tell you what. You leave Gotham University forever, and I'll never tell anyone about what happened tonight. Of course, if you want to go to jail, I can call the police now." I was silent. It was over. Guy had won, and I had lost.

"Let me get my clothes." I said defeatedly. I went to my room and grabbed my backpack. I packed up the few outfits I had stuffed them in. My backpack was eventually filled with my jeans, shirts, and my old go-go outfit. I didn't talk to Guy again, I had nothing to say to him.

The chilly air of Gotham's night enveloped me as I walked into the city. I went back to the alley I was in earlier and contemplated. I was broken, cold and alone. I had nothing in my life except some clothes and a cell phone. Guy was probably going to sell my car. I could've cared less. After everything I had been through, after everything I worked for, I had been reduced to this. I was homeless, friendless, and out of school. It just wasn't fair. I couldn't even cry at this point, I had been through too much and cryed myself dry. What was I supposed to now?

I noticed a glimmering pile next to me. Looking closer, I discovered it was broken glass. I looked up. Apparently someone broke a window on a higher level. The glass looked pretty sharp. My mind drifted back to thoughts of suicide.

"I might as well." I told myself. "There's nothing in this life for me. Maybe the afterlife has something better." I picked up the biggest piece of glass in the pile and sat up against the brick wall.

"Just a couple of seconds of pain and it's all over." I told myself solemnly. Gripping the glass in my right hand, I extended my left arm and prepared for the deed to be done. I brought the glass above my left wrist and breathed deeply. I pushed the sharp, slick item into my wrist and sketched a crimson line in my pale flesh. I dropped the glass onto the ground and watched my wrist bleed. The blood oozed from the wound I drew and trickled down my arm. I started to get really dizzy and before I knew it, I was falling over onto the cold ground. Spots started dancing before my eyes as my arm wept scarlet tears. I looked up at the sky as I slowly slipped into a dark haze. I hoped I was going to a better place as the darkness caressed me.

* * *

Wow, pretty dark section, right? Sorry to leave ya with a cliffhanger, but I need to rest. And get ready, cause the next part of the story includes someone you've been wanting to see for a while. Adios!


	6. When Harley Met Joker

Disclaimer: No DC characters are mine. You should know that by now.

_(A/N): Once again, sorry for delay of chapter. School's started again and will be slowing me down. But I'm determined to end this thing by the end of the year at the latest. Enjoy, fans!_

**Chapter 6**

Hiya loyal subject! Ready for another round of my fascinating tale? Goodie! When we last left little old Harleen, she was on the streets of Gotham with a fatal wound. Brace yourselves people, cause this is the part of my saga that includes my favorite psycho clown and your's, the one, the only, my special puddin' Joker!

* * *

Bright lights and frantic noises. That's what I remember best as I went back and forth from unconsciousness to reality. People were screaming things like 'Get her some air!' and 'This patient needs a blood transfusion, now!'. It's hard to describe what went on exactly. My mind was trying hard to understand what was happening. I woke up and passed out repeatedly and got small glimpses of my surroundings. I remember being in a small room that went really fast as my arm was being stuck with a needle. It was hard for me to process the whole experience since I was in an awful euphoria I wanted desperately to get out of. The last thing I remember in that tiny room I was in was thinking that I was in hell. Or worse, I was still alive.

Sunlight hit my face and I immediately jerked upwards. I was so unbelievably disoriented. Where the hell was I? What day was it? As my mind slowly started registering, I got a better look at my surroundings. I was in a medium sized white room with a weird window off to the sides. The window itself wasn't weird, but the metal bars around it were. I assumed that the place was a hospital, but I couldn't think of a reason for me to be in a hospital. Pain shot through my right arm. I looked at it and noticed there was an I.V. sticking into it. My eyes drifted over to my left arm and was confused seeing a band with gauze underneath it over my wrist. Why was there gauze over my wrist?

"Oh yeah..." I whispered as memories of what I assumed was last night flooded to my mind. My attempt to murder Guy, the glass next to me in the alley, the pain as I cut into my wrist. These memories repeated themselves before my eyes as I curled up on the bed I was laying in. I was in total disbelief. I had tried to kill myself and failed. I couldn't even commit suicide without screwing it up. Just another screw up of mine on my list of failures. While I was busy feeling sorry for myself, the door of the room opened and a large man with a white jacket emerged. He had a large bald spot on his head that was surrounded by black hair. He wore thick glasses with frames that covered his eyes and a black goatee. The large doctor carried a folder, which probably contained information on me, and started making his way towards me.

"Well, it's nice to see you're alive." The doctor said gently. "When they brought you here last night, I was convinced you were a goner." He sat down on a chair next to my bed and opened the folder he brought with him. "You are Miss Quinzel, right?"

"Yes." I said in response. "Where...where am I?" I asked as I scratched my head. I really wanted to know which hospital I had been brought to.

"First, allow me to introduce myself." He said, straightening up in his seat. "I am Dr. Hugo Strange, your psychologist." What? Psychologist? I looked at him strangely. "And secondly you are in the medical wing of Arkham Asylum."

"What?!" I yelped in response to Strange's revelation. Arkham? I was in Arkham? No. That place was for crazies! My mouth went agape as I fell back on my bed. "No. I'm not supposed to be here."

"Come now, Miss Quinzel, Arkham isn't that bad. And you aren't in any danger. This wing is separated from the loonies." He tried to reassure me. "We just want to make sure you're completely fine."

"Why am I not in a regular hospital?" I asked pitifully. It was kind of ironic. I tried working so hard to become a psychologist at this place, and I wind up as a patient there instead.

"Well, normally you would've been admitted to a regular hospital. But your's is an interesting case." Dr. Strange pulled out some papers from the folder and started reading from them.

"'Lost your apartment five months ago.', 'Failed your psychology class at Gotham University', and 'Lost your scholarship'." He quoted from the paper. Where did he get this information from? Barb? Sally? Kopski? I decided to just leave that subject alone. I didn't even care. Hearing my failures out loud made me even more depressed. Maybe I actually belonged here.

"Then after all these events, you attempt suicide in the streets of Gotham. And here at Arkham, we take it upon ourselves to help special cases like yours, and monitor you here for at least a week." Great. A week at the place I'd never be able to work at. Just a constant reminder of my failure. Dr. Hugo said that my stay here at Arkham, and my medical bills would be free of charge as long as I agreed to be watched over by trained psychologists for at least a week. I hated the proposal, but I allowed myself to be monitored. I didn't have a place to go anyway. This way I wouldn't be sleeping on the streets.

Dr. Hugo brought in a medical intern to inspect my wounds. As my wrist scars were being examined, Hugo laid out the schedule of my week at Arkham. For the majority of the days, I could spend my time in either my room or in the lounge area where I could talk to other patients here. Of course, I'd have to spend at least one hour a day with Hugo Strange in therapy. The intern finished checking out my wrist and said that everything was fine. He and Hugo departed my room as Hugo informed me my first therapy session was in an hour. I sighed depressedly upon realizing my entire situation. It seemed like with every passing day, my life was getting worse. What did I do to deserve any of this? Why were there no good jobs available in Gotham? Why was a creep like Kopski hired at Gotham U? Why couldn't I just kill myself and end all of this?

My first session with Hugo was really quiet. I didn't talk very much, aside from a few key words like 'Yeah', 'No', and 'I don't know'. I just sat in front of Hugo bit my nails for the majority of the session. Whatever small action I did, Hugo wrote two full pages on the action. If I sighed, he wrote about it in full detail. I had no idea what I was going to do. After this stay at Arkham, I'd be back on the streets. My life was in shambles, and I had nothing to look forward to. Suicide seemed like a grand vacation to me at this point.

After my wordless session with Hugo, I decided to check out the lounge. The environment seemed really sad. People of all different kinds were there. Some with wounds like mine, some who were jittering and muttering to themselves, and some had blank expressions like they were blocking out the world. God, just a few months ago I wanted to help these people, now I'm the one who needed help. I saw a couch that no one was lying on, so I took advantage and sat on it with my legs stretched out. I closed my eyes and tried going to sleep. The least I could do was dream of a better life.

"You're in my spot." I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes and there was a lanky guy with stringy red hair standing next to the couch. He wore scrubs similar to mine, but then again all the patients here wore matching scrubs. The guy looked to be about my age. He stared at me through his large glasses waiting for me to move.

"I didn't know this was your spot." I responded silently. I scooted over to the other side of the couch. I didn't want to cause trouble. I just wanted to be left alone. The red-head sat on the spot I was laying on and turned his head in my direction.

"It's..uh..not really my spot. I've just got bad OCD, you know?" I didn't respond. I saw that others in the room were playing cards or watching TV. "So, you're new here right?" I nodded my head slowly. "Uhm...what are you in for?" I sighed and showed him my wound. I explained that I was homeless and flunked school and that the people here thought I should be monitored.

The guy was silent after I finished explaining my situation. He stared at me like our conversation wasn't over.

"So what are you in her for..." I drifted off since I didn't know his name. He picked up on my confusion and finished my sentence for me.

"Edward Nigma. And...and you're Harleen Quinzel." I was shocked at how he knew that. Before I could even ask him how he knew, he continued speaking with a smile on his face. "I heard some doctors talking about a new suicidal girl and I saw your wound, so I put the two together and there you go. Anyway, I'm here at the behest of some board members of my father's company. You see my father owns a large toy manufacturing company. And he allowed me and some of his lower level employees to come up with some toy ideas. And I came up with some of the best ideas for toys and games ever created. I specialized in brain teasers."

"Then how'd you wind up in here?" I asked. Edward's smile turned to a frown as he explained the rest of his story.

"Well, a day before I was going to present my ideas, all of my plans were stolen. So I had to spend an entire night making my plans again. And at the board meeting the next day, I found out that the low-level employees were the ones who stole them in the first place, since they were presenting my plans as there own! I was so furious, and those employees made it worse when they said I was the one who stole from them! I went into a massive blind rage and tried killing them right there in front of the company board. When the police came, my dad offered me a choice. A stay at Arkham for a couple of months, or a stay in jail for a couple of years. As you can tell, I chose the former."

I sympathized with the guy. Both of us had been screwed over by others and were placed in here with other crazies and whackos. We sat on the couch for about ten minutes doing nothing. There really was nothing here to do. My eyes gazed over at a door in the corner of the lounge. It had bold letters that said 'Authorized Personnel Only'. I saw a police officer emerge from the door. A psychologist escorted the doctor out of the lounge and up to the front desk. I turned my head to Eddie, who was cracking his knuckles.

"Hey Eddie," I said grabbing his attention. "What's behind that door over there?"

"I'm not sure." He said in response. "But I think that's where they keep the more...violent patients of Arkham."

I looked back at the door. I can't explain why I wanted to, but I felt this urge to go and see what was behind that door.

"Let's go see." I said getting up off the couch. Eddie's eyes went wide. He got up and tried stopping me.

"Seriously, Harleen." He pleaded. "I've heard things from back there. People screaming in agony. Last week, a psychologist came from there in tears. We shouldn't go back there."

I know this may make me sound bad, but I thought that if I could see that there were people whose lives were worse than mine, I'd feel better about my predicament. I grabbed Eddie's hand and dragged him over to the door. We looked around to make sure nobody saw us. I opened the door and we scurried in. The door lead to a long hallway. We walked slowly through the creepy hallway to the other end.

"Look at the ground." Eddie said. I paused briefly from walking to look. "There's two sets of five lines and they extend from about here all the way to over there." Eddie said motioning to the door at the end of the hallway. "I think they're scratch marks, Harleen." I shuddered at the thought. A screaming patient being dragged on the floor, scratching at the cement ground for dear life. If seeing these poor bastards didn't make me feel better, nothing would.

We reached the end of the hallway and were greeted by a huge metal door with a panel of numbers next to it.

"I guess we need a code to get on the other side." I sighed. I was never going to feel better. I might as well just commit myself to Arkham for eternity.

"Lemme see the panel." Eddie said pushing me aside. He stared at the panel and began muttering to himself. After about two minutes of staring at it, Eddie pushed a random assortment of numbers, and an automated voice said '_Access Granted_'.

"Eddie, your amazing!" I said stupefied. His face turned red from my compliment. He put his hands in his pockets and began walking towards the entrance of the hallway.

"Yeah, I'm kind of a riddler." I heard him say as he departed to the other side. When I protested he simply replied "I told you Harleen, those aren't people back there. They're...monsters." I looked back at the large metal door. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

It was dark inside this very large room. The only lights in there were coming from the cells of patients. This place didn't look like an asylum anymore. It looked like a prison. I carefully walked around looking at various cells. The people didn't look like the patients back at the lounge. These people looked angry, kinda like vicious dogs at a pound. No of them said anything to me, they just stared at me with empty eyes. As I continued walking I came upon a string of cells that were empty. I was nearing the end of the room when I spotted one last cell that had a light on. I wondered why this patient wasn't with the others. He must've been really dangerous. I nervously walked to this cell, my heart racing a mile a minute. I came up to the cell, but I didn't see anyone. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the outline of a man in the shadows of the cell. Then, I heard the words I'd never forget in my entire life.

"Hello Clarice!" Followed by a string of bizarre laughing. The outline in the shadows got up and made his way towards the front of the glass cell. "What you don't like 'Silence of the Lambs'?"

I was shocked by his appearance. Grungy, dyed green hair. Deep sunken eyes. The gashes on his face, giving him an impossibly wide smile. He stood in front of the cell in a gangly stance in what looked to be an orange prisoner's jump suit. I couldn't stop staring at him, and from the way he was looking at me, I'd say he was studying me too. He put his hands on the glass and gave me a seductive look.

"So are ya just gonna stare at me all day kid?" He said jokingly. He licked his lips, focusing his attention on the scars on each side of his mouth. "Go on and pull up a chair. You'd be surprised, but few people want to talk to me." My first thought about this guy was that he looked like a real psycho. But something made me want to spend time with this guy. I can't explain it. I picked up a chair in the corner of the room and brought it over to the scarred man's cell. I sat on the chair and looked at the man. He stared right back at me with a grin, which seemed even wider due to his gashes.

"Now I gotta know." The inmate said biting and licking his lips. "What's a cutie blonde thing like yourself, doing in a place like Arkham? You uh...go mad, and kill your boyfriend?!" He asked with a breathy giggle. I looked down at my wrist. Should I really tell my woes to this strange guy? He was obviously deranged, but I felt like I could talk to him without being judged. I lifted up my wrist and got it in his sights.

"I tried killing myself yesterday." I meekly whispered. The man got a confused look on his face and got closer to the glass. He looked deeply into my eyes. He seemed to have a sympathy look in his eyes. And I mean actual sympathy.

"Suicide? Wh...why would you do something like that? I mean, you're what...seventeen? That's way too early for suicide."

"You wouldn't understand. In the last year my life's gone from bad to worse and even to a level lower than worse. My life's become a fucking joke." I brought my knees up to my chest and curled up on the chair as my eyes started to water. The green haired man smiled widely.

"You know, I kinda like jokes." He said with a grin. I didn't respond. How could this guy know what pain is? "Look, if anybody in this whole place understands pain, it's me. I mean, do you think I enjoyed getting these?" He said pointing to his scars. I lowered my head.

"Hey, who would you rather talk to? A psychologist who could care less about you? Or me, a kindred soul willing to listen to another's pain?" He flashed me another sympethatic grin. I gazed into his deep eyes. I decided to tell him everything. I told him about my father running out on me, my emotionally abusive mother, my job at Maroni's, and everything Guy Kopski did to me. While I told him of these events, he would giggle and laugh at certain parts. I stopped whenever I heard him laughing, but he urged me to go on. When I was done, he stood up and stretched.

"Wow, that's quite a tale...uh what was your name again kid?" He asked. I told him my name and he started to laugh strangely. "Hah! Ya know I really like that name. 'Harleen Quinzel'. Add a couple of letters and drop some others, and you get 'Harley Quinn'!" I looked at him really confused. I knew the guy liked jokes, but that was one I didn't get at first. He picked up on my confusion and tried explaining. "You know. Harlequin? The clown character? How could you not get this, don't you know who I am?!" He shouted through the glass. I shook my head. To me this guy was just another loonie in this crazy house.

"I just moved to Gotham a year ago. I don't mean to offend you." I sincerely said. He sat back on his bunk and sighed.

"A year ago I was running this city." He sadly said. "I had thugs who'd follow my orders down to the letter. I was feared and respected by everyone. I wasn't a regular man back then. I was a symbol of anarchy and complete and utter chaos. I was a better class of criminal. I mean, I'm the freaking _Joker_! Then _he _sent me back here." He said with fury in the back of his throat.

"Who sent you here?" I asked him. He furrowed his brow at the question.

"The Batman." He grunted. "He thinks that by sending me to Arkham, Gotham is safe. But thing he's forgetting is that I've gotten out of here once, and I'll get out again. You can't contain a symbol you know. You'll see." He licked his lips and started walking toward the glass again.

"Anyway back to your problems." He said chewing at his scars. "Now I get that life gave you a crummy hand, but...you...you can't just kill yourself when the chips are down."

"'When the chips are down'?!" I snapped. "Fate screwed me over to the point of suicide! I have nothing left in my life!" More tears started falling from my eyes. "No friends or family, why shouldn't I kill myself?!"

He stood there in silence looking down at me. His eyes made contact with my water-filled ones.

"Listen to me Harley." He spoke reassuringly. "Life..._is _pain. For people like me and you, it's just one torture session after another. But the thing is, it makes you stronger. Think about it. After that prick...uh...Kopski screwed you over and tossed you on the streets, you were at one of the lowest points of your life. And since you didn't know how to deal with pain, you...you tried running from it by killing yourself."

"What's your point? I wasn't even able to do that." I asked sullenly.

"The point is you survived. You took every bit of pain possible, both physical and emotional, and are still around to tell the tale. You literally looked Death in the face and said 'No more'. Now you can rebuild, knowing that there's nothing to be scared of when you're at the edge of the abyss. The only place after rock bottom...is upwards." He finished recoiling back onto his bed.

I stared at the man with as his revelation dawned on me. He was right. I had been looking at my situation wrongly. I could use this time to rebuild. Create a new life, one better than my old one. Slowly, my mouth began to stretch into one of the widest smiles I had in a long time. The Joker, as he called himself, gave a wide grin right back at me.

"You know..." He said seductively. "I _love _that smile of yours."

* * *

I know, I know. I just introduced him, now I'm ending this section. Well don't worry. In the next little part of my saga, we go on a real adventure! Arrivederci!


	7. Harley Begins

Disclaimer: Only in Bizarroworld do I own DC characters.

**Chapter 7**

Are you ready people? It's the final chapter of the epic saga of "Just Laugh!: The True Story of the Joker and Harley Quinn". Get comfy cause this is a goody!

* * *

It was the last day of psychiatric evaluation at Arkham Asylum. The stay had for a brief period became the turning point of my life I had been hoping for. After meeting him that first day, I thought he would still be here to talk to me, to comfort me. But two days before my last day, he overpowered the guards and walked out of the building like it was nothing. He ran out and left me alone like every other person in my life. The Joker escaped Arkham Asylum for the second time. Just like he said he would.

I was sitting on the bed in my room with my face in my hands, trying to hold back tears. I know it seems strange I'd miss him even though I only knew him for five days. But in those five days, I connected with him better than any other person in my life. Even more than Barb. He told me stories about his past. He told me he had emotionally abusive parents, too, and that he knew what it was like to feel totally alone. That's why he turned to crime. Our little 'sessions' together made me see the Joker in a way nobody saw. When people look at him, they just see a freak, not a lonely man reaching out for attention. I saw that man, and I thought he saw the lonely girl in me, too.

I sniffled and got off of the bed. It was time for me to leave and find a bed for the night. I couldn't go back to my old place or back to Kopski's. I figured there'd be some kind of homeless shelter I could crash for awhile until I figured something out. I walked over to my closet and got my book bag out. The last time I saw it was when I tried killing myself. There were still slight specks of blood on it. I looked at my wrist scars and noticed that they were healing up nicely. I opened up the bag to grab my jacket and gasped at what I saw in it. It was a small green box with a tag that said _"To my Harley Quinn"_. My hands shakily grabbed the box and opened the small package. Inside was a letter with a small silver key. I read the letter with a nervous breath.

_"Sorry to leave without saying goodbye. Gotta make haste during escapes you know. The least I could do is give you a parting gift. 152 Avenue D, Room 213. See ya soon Harley._

_~Mr. J"_

I was surprised to say the least. He really didn't leave me. From the description, it sounded like an apartment. But for the life of me I couldn't understand why he'd leave me an apartment key. Tons of reasons flowed through my mind. Was it his apartment's key? Did he get a place specifically for me? Is it a friend of his' place? Whatever the reason I smiled because it meant that the Joker really cared for me. I sighed contentedly and put the key into my pocket.

With the note in hand, I walked out of Arkham Asylum and began a long trek towards Avenue D. Since I didn't have any money, I couldn't afford a cab or even a bus. Fortunately this specific address wasn't far from the Narrows, so hoofing it wasn't a huge problem. After thirty minutes of walking, I had made it to Avenue A and was starting to get tired. The sun had begun to set and the temperature was getting lower. I took off my backpack and pulled out my black jacket. Once I had it on I checked my location. By my calculations, I only had a couple of more streets to cross until I'd get to this mysterious location.

Memories of the last year flooded my mind as I walked throughout lower Gotham. I remembered job searching this exact area, frustrated that there was no available position anywhere. That is except for Maroni's. It wasn't until then that I started to miss Nina and Diedre, and hoped that they were doing good somewhere. I looked at the street sign to identify where I was. And sure enough, I was on Avenue D.

The note mentioned 152 as the location on the street, so I went up the Avenue to search for it. After seven minutes of looking, I finally found where I was looking for on a big sign with flashing lights.

_Nolan's Motel_

I checked my key to be sure. And etched into the metal was "NM". Not the most romantic looking of places, but it was definitely better than sleeping on a heating grate. It was kinda scary making my way around the 2-story motel. It was the kinda seedy place where you'd find affairs or drug deals going on. The walls of the building were covered in all different colors of grime. I'm not even going to describe the pool other than the fact I'm pretty sure that some_thing_ was definitely moving in there. The entire building made my skin crawl.

I slowly walked up the stairs and strode towards room 213, glimpsing into some of the other patrons rooms. By the look of it, the insides were just as bad as outside. But, beggars can't be choosers. My heart skipped a beat when I finally approached the enigmatic address. I grabbed my key, steadied my shaky hand, and slowly opened the creaky door. I inhaled and made my way inside.

Aside from the peeling wallpaper interior, nothing out of the ordinary was inside. Just a bed, a TV, a dresser, some chairs, and a bathroom in the back. I sat down in a chair and put my book bag on the floor. I couldn't help but wonder why the Joker wanted me to come here. The note said, "See ya soon." but how soon was "soon"? Did he want me to stay here for the rest of my life? For all I know the key was stolen, and he set me up. As the possibilities flowed through my mind, something on the bed caught my eye. I walked over and saw that it was an issue of the Gotham Times. I chuckled since I hadn't read one of those in forever. The issue was only a day old, but I decided to thumb through it.

It was a regular issue, but the paper had red markings all over it. Where there were pictures of people, there were red scribbles over their mouths and black circles on their eyes. Some of the articles had words underlined, with red "HA HA" markings next to them. My mind started thinking that this was something from the Joker. There must have been an article he wanted me to see.

And there was. You see one thing I forgot to mention was that the front page was missing. It wasn't really that noticeable until I finished reading the paper. I looked around the room for the missing page and saw a small gray corner sticking out from under the pillow on the bed. I grabbed it and my eyes reeled once they glanced on the headline.

_'Gotham University Professor Murdered. Possible Joker Connection.'_

At first, I was in disbelief. I convinced myself that it couldn't be Kopski. But...it was. My eyes read every last word of the of the article. It said he was murdered in his own home two nights ago. His throat was cut, along with the sides of his cheeks, the Joker's favorite way of killing. The article didn't give a reason why Kopski was killed, but I knew it was because of me.

There is not a word to describe how I felt after reading that article. Unless you can think of a word that means "Mixture of joy, fright, surprise, sadness, and content.". I mean, I was absolutely scared that the Joker killed Kopski just because of what I told him. But at the same time, I was touched in a morbid way. Guy was evil in a flesh form, and Joker gave him what he deserved. Call me kooky, but Joker was the one man in my life who did the nicest things for me. He pulled me out of depression, gave me a shelter, and got rid of one of the scummiest of people. You may think he's just a remorseless killer, but on the inside, he's as sweet as...pudding. I lied back on the bed and hugged the article into my chest, wondering how long it would be until I got to see my Puddin' again.

I must've drifted into sleep, because the next thing I remember was slowly waking up once a strange smell wafted into my nostrils. The smell was a combination of grease, lighter fluid, and cheap cosmetics, I think. When my eyes were fully open, I gazed toward the window, which should've been a luminescent white due to the moon. But in the window was a tall, lanky, black outline. Even though it was dark, I knew who it was, and it took all my strength not to glomp him like a twelve-year-old girl on a boy band member. He must've sensed that I was conscious now, sense he turned around and spoke with that breathy, giggly voice.

"Well, hello bea-utiful." He said with a drawn out inflection. The moon allowed me just enough light to make out his costume, which I thought made him look handsome. That purple suit, with that long jacket and the green vest combined with a fresh coating of black, white and red make-up on his face made him appear kinda intimidating. But to me he was handsome. I sat up in my bed and leaned toward him.

"I...I missed you." I whispered to him. He stepped slowly toward me and grinned. Joker sat down next to me as my heart began racing. I nearly died when he grazed my cheek with his gloved hand. He stroked my hair gently and whispered back to me.

"Did you now? I gotta admit, I kinda missed you too. That's why I gave you that key. So you and I could get together after I busted out." I snapped out of my haze and back into reality.

"They're looking for you." I warned. "Tons of cops were in Arkham trying to get information on how you escaped." He chuckled slightly.

"I'm not worried about them. Only thing I'm concerned about is rebuilding my empire." Joker responded, also standing up. "Speaking of which, we should get out of here."

"Why?" I asked.

"Well for one, my hideout is much safer than this rathole." He reasoned. "And two, it won't be long till the owner realizes that there's two people breaking into his building." I gasped realizing my initial prediction was kinda right. The Joker told me to get any and all possessions together so we could split. I grabbed my book bag of clothes and followed the man out. We walked to the parking lot where I saw the Joker's car, an old beat-up, faded purple Packard. He opened the passenger's side door like a gentleman and when we were both in, we drove to places unknown, at least for me.

I couldn't stop staring at the Joker while he drove. I don't know what it was that attracted me to him. Was it the words he was able to say? The grungy, psycho clown appearance? Maybe it was the fact that he was one of the first people in my life to genuinely care for me. I sighed deeply and focused on our drive again. After fifteen minutes of driving we pulled up to a rundown warehouse.

"Honey, we're home." Joker said with a sly laugh. He got out of the car and I followed. Usually I'd be slightly apprehensive walking in a place like that, but when I was with the Joker, I felt confident. Maybe it was because he was so confident, that I just felt that way by association. He opened a huge lock on the entrance and I stepped into the lair of the Joker.

Dimly lit light bulbs illuminated the huge building. A large metal structure divided the warehouse into two floors. Looking around, I noticed the bottom floor was extremely bare, with the exception of a refrigerator in the middle of the floor, and an old TV set up on a crate.

"Up here, Harley." His voice called from a stairway. I walked over and followed the Joker upwards. When we got up to the top floor, I saw his makeshift apartment for the first time. There was a dingy mattress with a thin blanket and no bed frame right next to the stairs. Next to the bed was a large wooden desk with a bunch of various papers and several knives sprawled all over. Across the floor, various pieces of clothing were lying in a trail leading up to a dresser. Some of the outfits looked like disguises, like a cop's uniform, and some looked like Arkham prisoners jumpsuits. And I'm pretty sure that a nurse's outfit was stuffed into one of the dresser's drawers. The place was…homey to say the least.

"Make yourself comfortable. If you can, you'll be the first." Joker said with his breathy chuckle. I walked past the bed and went over to the desk to see just what was on it. The papers that were on it were covered in scribbles, which upon closer inspection made out words. They looked like detailed "To do" lists, with macabre things to do. The list on the top of the stack was titled "Failed plans", and it became clear that the Joker was planning to do someone in. After scanning over the paper, and seeing a doodle of a masked head with X's for eyes at the bottom, I realized that the someone was Batman. I thumbed through the stack of papers, not noticing a figure approach behind me.

"If you can think of a good way to get rid of the Bat, be my guest." His wiry voice suggested. I dropped the papers and turned around. Joker had a smirk on his face.

"W-why do you want to kill him?" I asked gazing into his eyes. "Is it because he put you in Arkham?"

"Eh, that's only one of at least six reasons why."

"Huh?" I responded.

"Sit down and let me explain." He said guiding his hand toward the mattress on the floor. I crossed over to the stained bed and sat down with a bounce. The Joker took off his jacket and threw it in the direction of the dresser. He stretched his arms above his head and took a moment to crack his neck.

"The thing is…" He started to say while looking at me with half shut eyes. "In the last several years, there has been a rise of…I guess you could call 'eccentric' criminals. And they're all out for the same thing; to prove that they're the greatest thug with the most elaborate get-up. You see, these punks undermine everything freaks like me strive for. I mean, how am I supposed to carry out my plans when there's a bozo with a ventriloquist's dummy or a weirdo with a moth suit getting in my way?!"

"So you want to kill him to prove _you're_ the best?" I asked confusedly. The Joker sighed.

"No…" He replied. He sat down on the mattress next to me and clasped his hands together. "I don't _want _to kill him. But if someone's going to, it might as well be me. I mean we've got a history, you know?"

"Why don't you just blow him up or shoot him?" I asked. A second later I realized what I suggested and was shocked I was able to recommend such things without thought. The Joker grimaced at my question.

"Please. Why didn't Professor Moriarty just shoot Sherlock Holmes?" He retorted. I shrugged. "For one, he enjoyed the thrill of the chase, just like I do. Knowing that I cause the Bat to search the slums of Gotham, desperately trying to piece together my latest crime puts a real smile on my face. Another reason is that it just wouldn't have been an appropriate death for such a legend. If I'm going to kill the Bat, it's going to be grand."

I was really interested in what he was saying. The way he described his relationship with Batman reminded me of Greek mythology; two beings, each representing an opposing side, clashing out in battle, never truly ending their war with each other.

"What are you going to do when you finally…you know kill him?" I asked. The Joker smiled at my question.

"When the Bat finally leaves this belfry, I can continue with my mission in peace." He answered. I cocked my head. He turned towards me and elaborated. "I believe in one simple truth, Harley. Rules, laws, codes… these things impede human progress. By saying what someone can or can't do, you completely violate the Survival of the fittest concept. The only true way to live is with no rules or boundaries. Some call it anarchy, I refer to it as absolute freedom. Chaos is a good thing, Harley. And when the Bat's gone for good, I'll make Gotham my own personal Galapagos."

I was absolutely smitten. The ideals this man had made sense, and the way he spoke, with such passion made me want to hear more and more. He got up from the mattress and went down the staircase. I brought my knees to my chest and sighed contentedly. I had no idea what I was feeling. The Joker was intelligent, innovative, creative, and ingenious…and I loved him. I decided right then and there that I loved him. I mean, who was there for me when I was in Arkham?; my cold, uncaring mother? No, just him. Who gave Kopski what he deserved for ruining my life?; Barbara Gordon, my so-called friend? Nope, just him. Who took me in, talked to me, opened up to me, and actually _cared _for me?; Sal Maroni? Nina and Diedre? Nancy? _Kopski_? Just as I was finishing my thoughts of love for him, the Joker walked up the staircase with a bottle and two glasses.

"You're a wine drinker, right?" He asked handing me a glass. I replied 'sure' as he began opening up the wine bottle. He popped the cork and the smell wafted toward my nose while he poured the drink into my glass. I bit my lip and my eyes started watering as the Joker poured his own wine. "Something wrong?"

"It…it's just…" I mumbled holding back tears. I tried drinking from my glass, but I succumbed to the process I had done so many times in the previous year. I dropped my wineglass but Joker was able to catch it with minimum spilling. I put my hands to my face and cried like a toddler in front of the man I was in love with.

"Something you wanna talk about?"

"Nothing makes sense anymore!" I cried. "The people who are supposed to be good have treated me horribly! My mother, my friends, my teachers! None of them ever cared about me! And the only person who's ever been nice to me is someone who everyone else says is a complete loony!"

I curled up into a fetal position, buried my face in my knees, and continued letting my eyes leak their salty stream. I felt a warm presence on my shoulders and noticed my hair being stroked. Looking up, I saw the Joker had put his arm around me and was doing his best to comfort me. He licked his lips and spoke delicately to me.

"Harley…" He whispered into my ear. "The reason I'm nice to you is because, well, I _am _you. I was the neglected child you were, the poor street urchin you were, and the alone person you were, too. I know what it's like being at the bottom of the abyss, not knowing if you'll ever come get out. And I care about you because…you actually enjoy my company. All those times you came to visit me in Arkham, not because you were required to, but because you _wanted _to. It's been a long time since I've had someone like you around."

He wiped away my tears as I sniffled. I gave him a small smile and wrapped my arms around him and gave him the biggest hug I ever gave anyone. He always knew just what to say.

"J-Joker? I, I love you." I stuttered affectionately. He grinned widely and hugged me back.

"Glad to hear that Harley, I feel the same way." He brought his hand to my chin and raised it so we were eye level. We stared at each other for I don't know how long. And all of a sudden we started drawing towards each other like magnets. I couldn't believe it. The first consensual kiss with a guy ever in my life! My stomach tied and untied itself as our lips drew closer and closer. The Joker pulled me in and…

My brain exploded as he planted his blood-red lips on my quivering ones. Not knowing what to do, I relocated my arms and wrapped them around his neck. The feeling was amazing. My heart was racing and I began breathing faster and faster and shifted my legs so I could sit on his lap. Our mouths moved together in a nice rhythm, but remained closed. I wanted to go further, but I wasn't exactly sure on the etiquette on the whole 'making-out' procedure. I didn't care though, because simply kissing with the man I loved was worth more than it's weight in gold. I kinda think he was reading my mind, since his mouth opened up slightly and his tongue slithered toward my closed mouth, begging for permission in. I spread my lips and let muscle in; all the while drowning in the ecstasy I was experiencing. As his and my tongue wrestled in each other's cavities, I took note of how the Joker's saliva tasted. It wasn't bad, just kind sour, and not the bad kind of sour, but more like a sour-candy.

Time meant nothing and if we hadn't broken that kiss for air, I'd have died the world's happiest woman. I stretched my arms above my head and fell backwards onto the mattress, giggling happily for the first time. The Joker flopped backwards, too and we lied down staring at the ceiling for what felt like forever. He turned towards me and stroked my arm.

"Someone looks like she enjoyed herself." He said with a grin. He was right. I had a huge smile on my face and I'll be damned if I couldn't get it off. "Do you want me Harley? Do you want to stay here with me? Continuously reliving that same excitement forever?"

I did. I really did. I wanted to stay in that old warehouse with him, and have him show me more and more pleasure like what I just had.

"Yes…." I moaned. I was still kinda out of breath from that huge snogging session. He sat and motioned me to sit up too.

"All right, but here's the thing. Being with me…it's gonna change you. But that's part of the whole survival of the fittest thing I mentioned earlier. When you're on the streets, dealing with the people I deal with, you can't be the same person you were before. The scum of Gotham will eat you alive out there." He motioned towards outside the building. "I'll help you adjust, but if you're truly serious, you've got to devote _everything _to me. Every cell in your body, every nerve in your system, every thought in your brain, everything, everything, everything. You've got to kill off Harleen Quinzel, and allow Harley Quinn to take over. Understand?"

I was conflicted. He said that last part extremely seriously, so I knew he wasn't kidding. I took a deep breath and contemplated. Was I really willing to give up my old life? The answer came to me naturally. I mean, nobody respected Harleen. With the Joker's help, Harley Quinn could garner respect.

"I understand." I said assuredly. The Joker smiled the widest I ever seen him smile and pulled me in for another deep kiss.

What followed after that was the greatest night of my life. The way his strong hands caressed every inch of my body with such care made me melt with every touch. The feel of his lips kissing places I didn't even know guys would want to kiss. The look of that chiseled lanky frame, rubbing up against my soft, delicate one. The painful, but brief penetration, resulting in a symphony of moans. The waves of pleasure from every thrust and the way my brain felt it would shut down from an overload of bliss. The feeling of absolute nirvana as our body's reached their climax and the slow descent back to normality. The Joker held me in his arms as I floated gently into unconsciousness, getting my first good night's sleep in a long, long time.

I slept for I don't know how long but was awakened by the feeling of something thrown on me. I opened my eyes and saw that the object was the top and skirt from my old go-go outfit. The boots from my outfit were right next to the bed, prepared for me to put them on. Joker called out from the staircase.

"Get dressed and meet me down here in ten minutes." He called. "There's a hat and mask over on the dresser that should match your clothes. Oh and apply some of the makeup that's with it."

Several minutes later, I stood in front of the mirror on the dresser, clad in my leather dancer's uniform. I had spread the white Joker makeup just the way he did, all over my face, with the exception of my red lips. I applied some spirit gum to the domino mask and set it on my face perfectly. I made sure my hair wouldn't get in the way by setting it behind my ears and putting on a couple of hair pins. I grabbed the hat he got for me, a red and black jester's hat, and placed it on my head. Taking several steps back, I viewed myself in full as Harley Quinn for the first time. I finally took a cue from the stupid old shirt, and just laughed at the sight. It was a brand new world for me and as long as I had him, I was ready for it.

"Harley?!" He called from below.

"Coming, Puddin'!" I responded, running towards the love of my life.

* * *

Well, there you have it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Oh sure, it may not be one what you call 'the perfect life', but I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. J is finished with his latest scheme, and by the looks of it, it'll be a real doozy!

Come back and visit again. Maybe next time I'll tell you about how I met Pammy! That's the girl who's known as Poison Ivy for those of you who don't know. Bye-bye!

A/N: For the last time, sorry for the delay, but at least it's over now. I hope you all enjoyed the story and I appreciate those of you who read it and especially those of you who reviewed it. Until next time!


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